Do I love him enough 2 let go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Do I love him enough 2 let go?
6
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:28pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:39pm

Well if he wants someone who is all his, are you willing to change your status so that person can be you?

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 1:57pm

H and I have a son and AP told me that he wants a child w/me and he wants me to marry him. He had an ring and everything when he asked. I told him that I am not ready to leave my M b/c my H is good to me. I did not start the A b/c my M was bad it stared b/c I never stop loving AP. when he came back I could not stop myself from being w/him. I love them both. We been having this A for yrs now and I do not see myself leaving my M. I have no issues w/ my H.


so I feel as if I am not being fair to AP. I do love him more than I love H but my son is only yr old and b/c of him I feel like I have to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2008
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 2:21pm
Knowing that additional information, yes, I'd let him go.

 

 

 

 

 

******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 6:07pm

So, if I have calculated correctly here, you have a one year old with H and you have been with AP for a year? You started an A with a newborn baby with your H? Not exactly criticizing, just trying to get it straight as to why you wouldn't want to leave your H to be with AP, seeing as he is single and wants to be with you knowing you just had someone else's baby, when you admit you love him more than H.


I think that you have pretty much decided that you are going to stay with your H because of your child, therefore you need to set the AP loose. He can have a full life with someone else and have his own family instead of getting seconds from you (not to be harsh but that's how it is when you are M and he isn't). He'll eventually figure this out and leave, most likely, but it might be a long time from now and would only make things harder for everyone involved.


Hang tough but think of what's best for both of you.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2006
Thu, 08-28-2008 - 9:53pm

I just want to clarify that my A started yrs ago. I know that my heart and body wants to be with AP.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 08-29-2008 - 11:55am

>>>"I AM SO SELFISH. but I don't want to go through life w/o him. "<<<

You need to stop being selfish. Unless you have an open M and your H approves of your having the OM on the side, then everything is "hunky-dorey". But, if your lying and cheating have the potential to devastate another human being (Your H), then i would suggest you dig deep and do the right thing. If you're heart is truly with the OM, then you're not doing anyone any favor by having this double life. Either you let the OM go and let him find someone who'll love him 100% or you let your H go so he can find someone who'll love only him. Your child is still very young enough to be resilient and I'm sure he would rather have a happy mommy.

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