Do they ever leave?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2003
Do they ever leave?
3
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 2:49pm
I am in the process of leaving my husband. I didn't leave for another man. I found MM after my marriage was over emotionally and physically. The thing is that MM has always said that he was divorcing his wife. I don't think I would have started a relationship if I hadn't known that. Our children are friends so I had a little inside info whenever I wanted. I know they sleep in seperate bedrooms. I don't want to date a MM man. He says they are getting a divorce but I don't see any progress. From what I hear they don't ever leave. I just want honesty and the chance to move on if need be.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 2:55pm

hey secret -- so tell MM all that.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 3:07pm
You will love mine, my MM chased me for 5 years begged me to go out with him, I was M, when he first saw me and started pursueing me he was single, in 5 years I showed NO INTEREST in him, we worked together. He is hispanic and did not speak ANY English, he was so cute, but I was married and even if single, we could not communicate, well over the 5 years he learned english, but like I said he also got M and had a baby, still at NO TIME giving up on me. I finally started having bad problems in my M and caved in, we both fell hard. He at that time was seperated, well his W found out he was seeing what she calls a "gringa" and went through the roof, moved back home threatened him threatened me everything (did I mention she had just delivered their 2nd baby) he was with me when he got the call she was in labor, she was living with her family. So anyways, we cooled it for a while, I got divorced but here we are 4 years later. In those 4 years we have had fights, called it over, even ended it for 4 months and I dated someone else, MM claims in those 4 months he and W seperated but since I ended it and was seeing someone else he made it work with her, he claims he will leave after the tax problems are solved, he has sooo many excuses. NOW here we are, I know he is never leaving, I know he is miserable at home, but he has 2 kids, a business and W that will ruin him if he did, I am to the point where I am ok with that. I have seen him in a new light and she can have him, I enjoy the 1-2 days a week we have, and I am slowly getting to where I will want a man who I KNOW when his M is bad he won't seettle he has too much respect for himself his wife and the women he claims to LOVE SO MUCH! I feel if he loved me like he really claims I would be worth the "problems". My divorce WAS NOT easy, I am going through bankruptcy now because of it, it was not easy but my happiness was worth it. I have no regrets, my MM gave me the strength to walk away from a very bad M, now my own strength will get me through walking away form him soo. Good luck to you, there are a lot of ups and downs, and like myself, when the downs are more than the ups time to really look at the entire A
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Wed, 01-21-2004 - 9:58pm
It sounds like you have been on a rollercoaster ride with your mm fooled.

But I also tend to think that most of them dont leave, the reasons they give vary but honestly I think it boils down to the fact that they really don't want to leave. They have the W doing all the daily things for them and us for the sex and fun stuff. The best of both worlds.Don't get me wrong I am not down on them , I am involved with a MM whom I love dearly, but I learned to face the facts,

Good luck

SB

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