Do We Ooze Sexuality?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Do We Ooze Sexuality?
13
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 11:05pm
I'm wondering how many of you feel that because of your EMA you seem to be more sexual....sexual in the way you hold yourself, the way you walk,talk,and just be. THings I have noticed the past couple of months that have happened to me, make me wonder if others have had these things happen and in the past they never did. (Hope that makes some sense, LOL)

Example #1-

I drove to meet my MM in a different town one afternoon. On my way I stopped at a store to pick up some beers . He was getting off work and I was early so I stopped to kill time. Anyway, I come out of the store and to my car. I put the beers in the back and climb in the car. I notice this young man looking at me - kinda like he thought he new me.... I thought nothing of it. I get in the car, and check my cell phone, as I'm doing this I notice he is walking over to my car. I roll down the window and he says, "Hi, I am so and so and I just have to come compliment you on your looks!" I was floored. He then says, I mean no disrepect but I had to come and tell you your beautiful ! WHAT? OMG- this has never happened to me ever ! He then asks me if I am from there....I say no. He asks me if I would like to go have a cup of coffee with him ...I tell him that I'm running late for an appointment, He then asks for my phone number ! How werid. I smiled, said thank-you and tell him he just made my day ! It was a werid and odd experience.... then.... fast forward to today......

example #2-

i am driving into town to pick up my kids from school, a truck drive pulls along side of me, traffic is slow but crawling along the highway. He puts his hand out the window and waves at me. Honks his horn a bit and I look up- couldn't see him that well but smiled. He then slows down because traffic in his lane slows, he is looking at me (I'm looking in my review mirror) he waves at me again. I smiled and stuck my hand out the sunroof and waved. I then pulled into the turning lane and he went straight. He waved again! I waved.

Is this werid or what? I've been married for almost 14 years now and have never had men notice, flirt , or pick up on me before...what gives? I am beginning to think that because of my EMA I am just more sexual and I am showing that I guess. Strange.....or not? Anyone else notice this happening?

Wishing~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 11:17pm

Hi wishing,


I think it's all got to do with your confidence and the way you carry yourself now.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 11:54pm
You know, I sense this too; the things that have happened to me haven't been as overt or blatant, but I do notice looks or stares that I didn't notice before -- maybe I'm just more aware now, you know?

I've also noticed that the days I've been with MM, my husband always ends up wanting sex on the same day. Of course, I always feel absolutley sick about this -- I just can't do it with two different men on the same day (not to mention the tremendous amount of guilt I feel). Anyone else notice this with their H? That kills me, and I have wondered too if I am just "oozing sexuality" on these days...could it be pheromones?!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 12:00am
Sweet & Charolette,

I think your both right between the Self Confidence we've gained and the Pheremones oozing- we're just giving off alot of sexual confidence that others can feel ! Wow, glad that I'm not the only one having these things happen, for a minute there I was a bit worried ! LOL ;) Not really...it is flattering though !

Wishing~

It will be interesting to read others situations that have happened to them with this topic !

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 12:54am
Hi Wishing,

I'm going off on another thread here, but I have noticed how many others talk about affairs - I am more aware of the subject, and maybe due to the different set of people I'm with...my older friends (of pre-A) would not say the word "affair", but skirt around it. I remember at the onset of my A that I would wonder who was and who wasn't having an extra-marital relationship, from friends to neighbors to strangers at the store!

The flirtations (or even blatant looks/suggestions) have been similar, whether it was pre-M, during-M, or now. When I think back to when I was M (for a little over 20 years, began A at the end of my M), I was not receptive to other men "in that way", but now can recognize some instances (flirting, attractions) that occurred with men I knew. Now my radar is working, lol, I wonder that it will ever be quiet again...I think I "know too much" now - or maybe know myself more now.

Good post!

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 8:51am
Funny you mention pheromones....last week MM an I had a discussion about that and we both beleive that they do exist. I think the more you feel good about yourself the more of them you emit...if that makes any sense. I have noticed that I take better care of myself by eating better and excercising more and 2 weeks ago I had my bellybutton pierced! H and MM love it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 9:17am
hey wishing -- and yes, yes, yes, i have definitely noticed more "interest" aimed at me since starting my A. and like charlotte, who i think posted this, i feel it's because i feel much better about myself and my sexuality, and as a result, am taking better care of myself and my appearance!

this is the best time of my life, insofar as my sexuality and all that involves. several other men have opened up to me recently that they have been attracted to me for varying periods of time, but were too shy to approach me. and i'm very flattered by the attention, but really, between my BF, MM, work and friends, i just can't fit in any more "attention" to others. i try to keep all that attention on a "friend" level, but lately, one man in particular has been getting more aggressive.

so today i'm having lunch with "aggressive man" and telling him, in a nice way, to back off and stop making "suggestions" about us and getting a little jealous when other men-friends pay attention to me because i just want to be friends with him (and all the others too), nothing more. i see this man every evening on my commute and i'm hopeful i can dampen his ardor without really pissing him off because i would have to change my commute and lose some other friends that i really like. fortunately, i'm able to be nice and to the point at the same time, so we'll see if this situation works out!

it's those damn pheromones, which do definitely exist! and they are free-flowing after spending time with MM, so of course, other men will be more attentive!

and i've had the same situation of being with my MM early in the day and then even 12 hours later, my BF wants to get busy with me too, all on the same day! it's uncanny!!

very interesting thread. thanks,

gurl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 9:52am
Charlotte,

I was just thinking this exact same thing last night. The same thing happens to me. Everytime I meet w/ MM, my SO wants sex that same night. This is especially strange because my SO hardly ever wants sex, and pertty much NEVER gives me any other kind of affection. This is most of the reason I landed in my "A".

I guess the more sex you are getting, the more you can get. HA!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:06am
Well in your case you are "asexkitty"!! -- so it makes more sense!!;)

Seriously though, it is weird, huh??!! I'm telling you all...it's got to be the pheromones (in part, at least)!! I'm going to have do a little research on them!!!

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:22am
Yes Charlotte, research pheromones and get back to us! LOL

I seem to always get attacked by my DH when I come home after having sex with my OM...sometimes I can sneak out of it but other times he's just too persistent...not that I ever mind sharing myself with DH...I just have to have time to shower ya know GEEZ!

I agree with Sweet that its definately a confidence thing...you carry yourself differently when your confidence is high. Also I think your eyes wander a little more when you become involved in an EMA and when you appear to be looking for something people tend to notice you more...your eyes wander because you're a little more aware that there are other men/women out there.

cl-liberalgirl

callmeliberal@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 10:34am
onastar, I don't think I am oozing sexuality but I am definitely more confident than before the A. I feel confident of myself and my body than before. I defintely see the looks the men give, but I have alway been given dirty looks before, heh, so its not new. :-) Maybe be I feel more "aware" now of my sexuality and more confident of it I feel good about instead of feeling dirty....

disclaimer: I prefer the dirty looks given by my MM more than anybody else. whew! I better put that in case MM decides to get jealous or something...

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