Do you ask, or do you not want to know??
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Do you ask, or do you not want to know??
| Thu, 07-24-2003 - 1:05pm |
How many of you have asked or do ask MM/OM how they feel about you? For those who do not ask, is it because you don't want to know? So many times I have wanted to ask how MM feels about me. I mean, I KNOW in my heart how he feels because of how he acts, but sometimes I want to hear it. And, I don't know if he really WOULD tell me, or just play it off. And I hate putting someone on the spot. Still, sometimes I think, what if I ask and he says something that I don't want to hear? What has been your experience?

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I always asked my OM how he felt about about me and he always told me want I wanted to hear that he loved me. And I believed/believe him. But then, that's just me and my OM. Everybody's relationship is different and you should ask him if you feel strong about it.
Hi. Interesting topic. I was scared as can be to tell my MM how I felt. When I finally did I was drunk (not the best way to tell him) and he didnt really say anything he didnt say it back. I wasnt sure what to expect when I said it, so I dont think that I would have ever done it sober. I was nervous cause it was out in the open and he never said it back so I felt like a moron. Then 3 days later he told me that he loved me for the first time. It was a huge relief. It felt sooo good to hear him say it. Like your MM, all his actions were telling me that he felt the same way, and I took the chance. My situation turned out very good. Good luck to you. If you are wondering then maybe you should ask. Just make sure that you are prepared for a good or a bad answer!
I have not gone there yet... I know how I feel about MM and I've been working up to find the right time to be able to tell him. I don't want it rushed or on the phone... it has to be done right. As to what I want in return... nothing! it would be nice... but I've come to a stage that I don't need to hear it... it's what he does that shows me he cares. And I know he cares... how much I don't know... but the things he does for me just always amazes me... a simple thing as taking a day off work to spend with me, when for years DH would never take a day off to spend with me... and trust me, it's a little more work for MM to take a day off.
It's taken me a lot to get to this level of existance for years I felt the need to hear it from DH... but I think that if he'd only made the effort to show me... I wouldn't have need to hear it at all... now I do hear it from DH... I feel he only says it to keep me happy... or so he thinks.
think I'm rambling now...
luv and hugs
Sweet
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
And you can't make me either! (Denial is more than a river in Egypt!)
CFH
Most that follow my story know that OM and I
are, and have always been, very honest w/ e/o.
Perhaps this is b/c we'd been friends for a few
yrs. before we ever got involved, I don't know.
We usually tell e/o what we think/feel at the
exact moment we think/feel it. However, w/ certain
things we may take longer in bringing our thoughts/
feelings to the table. An example of that would be
when I realized a few mos. ago I was falling in love
w/ OM. I didn't even have to say anything, we're in
tune enough and he reads me like a book that he was
able to pick up on it himself. I've still never said
"I love you" directly to him or vice versa.. but for
now, it doesn't have to be said. We both know how we
feel.
I dunno... I've never had an issue w/ wondering how
OM was feeling for me. I've been very lucky and blessed
w/ that. I don't really rem. ever asking him where his
mind was at as far as his thoughts for me. That was
always so evident to me and he hasn't had any probs. just
telling me how imp. I am to him. I've had to ask where
his head is at as far as when I thought I wanted to date
other ppl. Not b/c I didn't know already, I wanted to
hear it from him though to make sure I was right in what
I assumed he'd feel.
To be honest, I'm a bit surprised that anyone on here
would not know what you really mean to your OM/MM/MW/OW.
I would have thought that somewhere along the line
SOMETHING would've been said. OM and I don't sit and
have some meeting every week and sit there and say, "Oh
I just adore you. I adore you b/c you are so much fun
and you are who I most love to share my happiness w/.
You make me feel amazing, etc" But we have, esp in the beg.,
had many talks about what we feel for e/o and what we
mean to the other. And words are only words unless there's
some action backing it up and now we DON'T need reassurance
about e/o's feelings. We know. It's understood and known
as a result of being in this for almost a yr.. through all
of our actions.
Very good ? though... interesting to bring up. Thanks for
bringing up some more good memories for me tonight :o)
I kind of feel guilty, because I don't feel the same way about him. I like him, but I don't compare in those feelings he has for me.
my 2 cents.
I am not saying at all that it is a bad idea to ask. You need to decide if you want to actually hear the words. And believe me I can completely understand the need to actually hear them say that they care. Actions are not always louder than words.
Blondie
I have told him that I love him in the heat of the moment and he has done the same once.
To know how he really feels all I have to do is look in his eyes.
It's in the touch of his hands and the gruffness of his voice.
He is S and I don't want to hurt him. I guess maybe it's enough for him to hold me in his arms, and be there for me whenever I need him.
EJ
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