Do you discuss M problems with your AP?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2010
Do you discuss M problems with your AP?
1
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 3:03am

When my AP first told me he loved me, I asked how this could be true: he has a beautiful W and 3 wonderful boys. I said that I cannot compete with his W. I know her is a very kind and sweet person – she gave up her career to take care of their children. He is a good husband and father – a role model – in fact, my H asked him to the godfather of my son. He said that he loves me at a higher level (whatever that meant at that time). Since then, I did not bring up any discussion about his W.

Almost 4 months has passed and now he says he loves me and ONLY me...
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe we either consciously or unconsciously set out looking for or wait for someone else because of our dissatisfaction/unhappiness in our M.
I know a lot of you discuss what’s wrong in your M with your AP or they've opened up to you about theirs. I still cannot bring myself to ask him.

Edited 2/18/2010 3:16 am ET by apofap




Edited 2/18/2010 3:23 am ET by apofap
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Thu, 02-18-2010 - 4:56pm
it really depends on your expectations of the A.. do you want EA or PA or a mix of both? What are YOU comfortable with?.. What have you shared with him in terms of your family life, if anything? I think in each A, the partners sort of set the rules, either by discussing or omission, of whether it's acceptable to discuss family. In my case, family discussions are a part of the A, but ours is more of a strong, unique friendship with a physical side.. when we veered into the E aspects of things, it got complicated and we pulled back.. for us, that was a very wise decision..
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