Do you feel guilty about the BS?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Do you feel guilty about the BS?
24
Sat, 07-31-2010 - 1:40am

Just a question I was pondering today - do you all feel guilty about the potential pain you could cause your AP's spouse?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Sun, 08-01-2010 - 11:19pm

I feel slightly guilty, but obviously not enough to end things.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Mon, 08-02-2010 - 1:39am
I don't mean to sound cold, but she might as well have given AP her blessing for him to have an A: she knows what their issues are, and refuses to do anything to make it better.

I'm more worried at this point about the pain it will cause AP if he has a d-day.


AE - there, you said exactly what I

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 2:04pm

My AP's wife and him hadn't slept together for years before he found me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 2:35pm

When I read the BS board I do feel bad that they experience the pain they do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 4:48pm

In a nutshell....no.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2009
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 8:07pm

Considering the responses on this thread, what do ya'll think of this:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmyaffair&msg=58007.1&ctx=0

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 5:20am

I feel guilty for both my H and my AP's W (or partner). But I would say I feel worse for my H as I have broken my promise to him. Although its interesting that vows about love and cherish and honour are broken all the time, but the vow about fidelity is held as more sacred somehow.


My AP has also told me how miserable his partner and he are, not much sex etc. I take all that with a grain of salt. If you are that unhappy- leave. He's a cake eater like me but it certainly suits him to say that he is unhappy at home, therefore he is with me.


We rarely discuss each other's partner or the marriage itself. We talk about kids, work, life, dreams, politics - everything but our partners. It makes us both uncomfortable.


Iggy

You are what you consistently do
You are what you consistently do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2010
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 12:25pm

"Although its interesting that vows about love and cherish and honour are broken all the time, but the vow about fidelity is held as more sacred somehow."


ITA with this.

anotherseyes

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:44pm

I think it's because fidelity is so measurable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Thu, 08-05-2010 - 2:52pm

To