do you like to hear about his W/Gf/etc.?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2008
do you like to hear about his W/Gf/etc.?
23
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 10:07pm
I typically like to know what he does with his GF or how their relationship is going, but now that they are getting an apartment together and he's talking about how they went shopping for this or looking for that I am finding that maybe I should stop being so curious about their life together. i dont think i can handle it anymore as i get really aggravated when he brings her up. do you like to hear about their life together or do you prefer it is kept a mystery?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 12:25pm
I can´t say it bothers me much. AP talks very little of his W and I talk very little of my SO. I talk about my DS (AP knows him very well) and grandchildren and the rest of the family, he talks about his children and the rest of his family, but never our spouses in particular. Unless it´s natural, like our semi D-day some months ago. Then it was natural to talk about her reactions. As for their sex life, I couldn´t care less.


Edwina
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 1:31pm
I like to hear stories about how crazy his W is. It makes me seem really sane!! LOL.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 1:47pm

MM and I have been together for so long, our families are so intertwined.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 2:01pm

My AP has never mentioned his W and their sex life but has talked about how frustrated he becomes with her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 4:10pm


Good lord, why on earth would I want to know about the W? I see some posters on forums talk about how their AP runs their W down all the time and I would just not have that. If a guy can talk so disrespectfully about the woman he married without doing her the kindness of divorcing her, what would he be saying about *me*?

I have no interest in her, although I know her name. Before we were PA we both talked about our relationships and he said it was beyond counselling. He told me once he didn't think she was capable of managing the practicalities on her own and after I'd told him what I thought of such patronising c**p, we've not talked about her since.

My exBF cheated on me and I got some twisted revenge by cheating on her with him; but he would really say the vilest things about her and laugh about how she thought they were getting married. As he also proposed to me, I could imagine him saying all the same nasty things to her. In my book, a decent man would never badmouth his women.

I also know some women just have to know and hear these things... but I don't want to torment myself with any images.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2006
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 5:53am
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Edited 12/1/2008 2:49 am ET by lacey72

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 8:25am
I'm interested to know just the stuff that concerns us. We had a semi d-day so sometimes I ask about "the situation at home".

I have met his W and she's ok. I even think we would get along great if it weren't for our A. My AP never talks about her in a bad way. When he was telling me about his problems at work and at home, he mentioned that she isn't supporting him in some things and that she's making his bad situation even worse, I defended her. Told my AP not to blame her because all that was effecting her too and that she's worried about the kids. He thought that was really sweet of me. Seeing the whole situation as it is and not like OW.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 10:36am

I think this is awesome question, and I couldn't wait to hear what everyone had to say.

My MM and W and I all worked together at one time, not now, so I know her, but I got w/ AP before I knew her. I think that she was transferred to AP's and my division on purpose. We were very open that we were together, despite the fact that at the time we were both M. I think that people wanted to see what would happen. Wheew I am glad that's over.

My Ap doesn't talk about her unless I ask. Which I do seldom. They have been in a sexless M long before I came along, so I know what going through the motions is like. It's very hard to live in the same house w/ someone that you don't want to be w/.

I don't think, no strike that, I KNOW I couldn't handle this R if things were any different. I couldn't take thinking about them having sex, and going grocery shopping together. I am SO grateful it's not like that. Sometimes I am curious about her mistakes, so I don't make them too, but other than that, ignorance is bliss!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 1:13pm

ok, I am married he is single, but been dating a girl for about 4 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:30pm
I don't know what it is, but I can't stand to hear it. This morning he mentioned that the night had been so cool that "we" slept with the window open, and lots of covers... OMG... I hated hearing it... I know it's crazy, but I maybe it's because she living my life...
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