Do you love your OM/MM?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Do you love your OM/MM?
16
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 7:56pm

Do you love your OM/MM?



  • Yes
  • No


You will be able to change your vote.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 8:03pm
I ask this question because...

I was talking to a friend of mine who is in a new relationship. She just got out of a horrible relationship. She says that she has fallen for this new guy...

It made me think. When I met OM, I felt "lust". Easily confused with Love. Perhaps what we feel for the OM/MM is lust?

Please answer this poll honestly... I'm just figuring this out myself!

I'd like to have some answers that help! And any responses would be great!

~passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 8:56pm
Thanks, Passion, I always appreciate the chance to talk of my love for MM because I can't talk about it with those in my life.

I didn't even consider the emotions in the beginning, well neither of us did, it was as you said, lust. After about 3 or 4 months I felt us drawing closer (which is hard to explain - the talking, actions, body language, even the "aura" felt different). I tried compartmentalizing (a box for everything in my brain - with emotions for/with MM in one), which helped at first. I also had my guard up, a wall, and was reluctant to let it down, to get really close with MM, to feel the good and not-so-good emotions. How could I allow myself to love someone who is committed to staying in his M? Especially when I knew I would be D'ing (how mentally draining that can be).

Anyone who knows me from months ago, knows I used to often muse, analyze, research - anything to try to understand! But I've come to accept I do love MM, unconditionally. For his friendship, for his support, for his humor, for the way he respects me, for our incredible sex together, for the everything we do together, for the exact way he is, for his accepting me the way I am, for wanting him to be happy in what he thinks is best for him, and despite that he is M. I love MM, not the relationship. Even if I can still lust, I'm no longer obsessing, daydreaming, wondering...it's love, it's not going to disipate anytime soon, and I'm happy with loving him because for me, right now, the love, and MM, is good for me.

Passion, try not to think on it too much - enjoy what you have with your guy one day at a time - eventually, if it is love, it will come to you and you'll know.

Hugs,

Meow

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 9:22pm
I don't feel like I'm in LUST with my MM. Because we have passion like I've never experienced before, almost too much passion, which makes me a freak.

H and I used to have great sex, until I wasn't in love with him anymore.

=)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:23pm
Thanks Meow:)

Your post sounds like it could have been written by me.

I'm in an odd spot right now. I'm not sure what it is,

but I'm trying to figure it out right now! So, I just

wanted to ask this question because hearing others

helps me through this... time of whatever I'm going through!

Thanks so much for your reply:) ~passion

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Fri, 07-18-2003 - 10:24pm
Thanks Lexy:) Your reply also helps:)

Confusing past couple of days for me...

Perhaps it's because H has left for the

weekend? I don't know.. lol I'm just

at the point of questioning things..

And like Meow, I tend to analize EVERYTHING! lol

Thanks, ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 12:38am
Hi passion,

I voted yes... but I must admit I went through a lot to get there. As you probably know... I've been seeing MM for just over 3 years now and in the beginning I think it was very much lust and infatuation... I wanted him, I needed him. But it was more so much the attention that he was giving me. Once I got over this stage... I felt strong enough to know that I had a great friendship... however over time and the things that we have been through together have emotionally bonded me to this man and while I denied it for some time... I do now believe that I love him and it's given me a great amount of strength to know that I could love like this again. To be able to give my love so freely and not feel the need to be asking for something in return.

I hope that I've made sense in some small way.

luv and hugs

Sweet

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 7:36am
Thanks Sweet, It made sense to me! ~passion
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 9:00am
Passion,

The is a fine line between love an lust! I think everyone knows that...it seems to get muddled sometimes...but it is always there!

I know when OM and I first started seeing each other 3 years ago I would not ever thought that I would fall for him...a year into it I realized that I had..now things are different, because I believe he just told me he loved me to make me happy! I don't believe that he was ever in love with me! Live and learn...there is always more to do in life than just live for one person!

Maybe your friend knows the difference and just wants to frolic in la la land for a little while! LOL...I know I like to go there from time to time! Have a great one! Oh BTW..I voted NO! Red
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 1:25pm
I feel it all, actually. A deep friendship, a real lust for the guy, and a newly discovered love of him and for him. We were friends, first. He also flirted with me all the time, too, so of course I got really curious what he'd be like in the sack, lol. And as my feelings have grown stronger, the sexual attraction is stronger, too. And he's so very good in bed, that just thinking of him gets me all hot and bothered. But I also want to show him, physically, just how wonderful he is and how important to me he is. I tell him so with my words pretty often, but I want to back it up with actions. And I've always needed an emotional connection to feel right about sleeping with someone, so I think the lust was borne out of the friendship, and not vice-versa. Hope this answered your question?

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 1:30pm
Thanks for your thoughts Red:) La La Land is great:) Once in awhile! lol I guess my friend is enjoying her time over in that land... lol TTYS! ~passion

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