Do you regret your affair?
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| Wed, 05-27-2009 - 6:59pm |
Hi ladies,
You might not remember me. I posted several weeks ago. To give you a recap: I'm 35, no kids, married for almost 4 years. My husband is a wonderful person, but we lack sexual chemistry. I do not want to divorce or separate. At the same time, I find it daunting to think that I may never have a fulfilling sex life. We want kids and I keep telling myself that the reason we don't have kids is the lack of a sex life. I know that real reason is me being conflicted about a sexless - but otherwise fulfilling - marriage.
When I posted back in mid-April, I had a crush on a coworker. Nothing had happened and I was avoiding him for that very reason. Nothing has happened physically. Although I don't feel like I'm "playing with fire" right now, I think I'm slowly lighting that match. I find myself thinking about him more. I told him that I was taking a walk around lunch time yesterday (I didn't invite him) and he found me at noon time and we took a short walk together and had a really nice time. Today, he sat next to me at a meeting (trust me, it was deliberate, not random)

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My question to you is do you regret having an affair?
There are days
I do not regret having an affair. I don't regret it because it opened my eyes to a new chance to be happy. My long time marriage has not survived my affair.... my choice. I needed to get out because i don't want to end it --my affair--and I don't want to leave wreckage behind me--getting discovered....so I'm on my way.
As far as being in a similar situation as you--no. My children are grown and have come to accept the Divorce. While this has been difficult with much soul searching, I chose to live with no regrets.
I wish you well.
Hi Sarah,
I am in a very similar situation as you.
Edited 5/28/2009 1:55 am ET by withclarity
I absolutely regret my affair.
Only you can decide if you can live for the rest of your life with lousy or no sex. Here's where I'm at. I can't live for the rest of my life with a marriage without communication or passion or kisses. For us, the sex is great, we do that well, but these other things.... Well, I can't tell you when the last time I shared a passionate kiss with my h, but I can tell you it's been well over 2 years and probably well over 3 years. That's sad. I can't live with that. I need passion and love in my life, I need great kisses and great sex and I need to be talked to about everything. My marriage won't survive. In fact, I believe my om has given me the strength to hang on in my marriage for the past year or so. Now, I'm nc with him and my marriage is falling apart faster. I'm not in love with my h, he makes me sick, so here we are.
Can you imagine how your h will feel when he learns about your affair? Can you imagine how hurt he is gonna be? Maybe there is a better way around the lousy sex, instead of the affair, but it will probably destroy your marriage. Check out marriagebuilders.com there is a wealth of info there that might help you improve what you have.
Edited 5/28/2009 8:52 am ET by nycgirl82411
No, I do not regret my A.
Congrats Colo - that's amazing!!
Do I regret my affair?
Honestly, I can answer this by saying 'no' I do not regret my affair.
I regret that I am hurting innocent people; I am ashamed at myself for being so weak minded to let myself fall for the impossible.
Trust me, it has been a great battle emotionally and physically.
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