Do you think of it as an A?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Do you think of it as an A?
5
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 12:04am

It just occurred to me for the first time tonight that I am elbow deep in an A and it actually made me laugh that I never thought of it that way before now! Actually, I still kind of don't.


My back story is that I have been miserable in my M for about two years now. I went through a roller coaster ride of doing everything

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2009
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 12:25am

Hi white.wave,


Yes, I most certainly see it as an A.


See, even when you don't or haven't had sex with someone, that doesn't mean that your not in an A. An A can be defined in many different ways. Some people even believe that an "emotional affair" is worse than a "physical affair" because of the amount of feelings involved. When your heart starts to feel, it makes it all stronger. Sex can be "just sex" and can usually end fairly easily. But try ending an A after the heart gets involved... it is usually almost impossible if not completely impossible.


Good Luck with getting yourself stable and moving forward to a happier life, I hope all that you wish for works out great for you :)


Hugs,


SweetPea

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 8:12am

Just a word of extreme caution here:

That's your picture and your profile has your birthday, town and kids' names! Everyone who "lurks" here does not post and even posters have false names. Your neighbor, your kids' teachers, your husband's co-workers or friends, any one of them or all of them could lurk here - who knows why but this particular topic is a popular lurking spot, we've been told. You said "I have not given him any notice but if he is really in the dark about how unhappy I am, that's just proof of why our marriage has failed after all the fighting I did to try to fix things." You may not have given your husband notice but someone who knows him could point him right here.

I'd suggest that you either take your post down or change your profile to reflect no identifying information. You CAN create another account here (you'll have to have another e-mail address to do this) and use this anonymous account to post in this particular forum.

Proud to be a



You've got a lot of choices. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 9:44am

Thanks for the tip. I don't use ivillage for anything else besides this now and haven't for over six months so I don't think I'll go to the trouble of creating another username.


If he found out, I would not be devastated about it. I mean, I know it will look bad for me in the proceedings, but I'm already prepared to walk away with much, much less than I could probably get if I was willing to spend a long time fighting it out in court. I just want to be gone. All I want from him is child support based on his real income, which I'm pretty sure my infidelity does not exempt him from paying since it is for the benefit of his children.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2008
Fri, 08-14-2009 - 3:27pm
Is your AP SM or MM?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2007
Sat, 08-15-2009 - 12:16am
He is SM.