Do you use the "L" word with each other?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Do you use the "L" word with each other?
13
Mon, 05-24-2004 - 2:22pm
Just wondering how many of you have taken the big step and started telling your other person that you loved them? If so, how long did it take you? Who said it first? Was the sentiment returned? Has it changed your relationship?

For me, it took every bit of courage I have and nearly three years to get the words out of my mouth! Luckily the feelings were returned and we were able to finally put a long term plan together for our relationship. I had no idea that it would changes things (luckily for the better) in such a profound way!

So what's your story?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
Yes, we do use the "L" word. We have been coworkers and great friends for over 2 years. He got layed off in Jan. and it was then that we realized we really wanted to be more that friends. We believe everything happens for a reason and that we are truly soul mates. We are both married. I have 3 kids. He has 2. He told me he loved me after about 3 months. I cried. I love him so deeply but my husband is a good guy and father. We just have not connected in years. I don't find him attractive anymore. We have been married 13 years but I felt I have been playing a role in a play for the past 7 years. I have told OG I love him too. We say it only when we look at each other. I don't take it litely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2004
We say it..not often though. We don't get a lot of alone time. It's reserved for special moments.

He said it first...I was floored.

I do love him and am in love with him...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
yes, we have said the L word. He said it first and I couldn't say it back. He has told me his feelings more then once and I couldn't believe what I heard. I care about him so much.

but now that he's upset with me it makes me wonder was it all a game on his part. I still Love him no matter what happens. I just hope that he will remembe his feelings and come around and call me and let me know if it;s over or not..

I LOVE HIM
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Yes, we do, but it's not used often or lightly. He's very much in charge where his emotions are concerned. Very in control. Doesn't take any of it forgranted and appreciates the heck out of it. We will say it at the end of our daily phone call, but I never, ever have gotten the sense that it was out of habit on his part. And lord knows it's not out of habit on mine.



I was the first to put it in words, and it took me about 2 months to get there. But, we knew each other for over a year before that and were very good friends for months before the A started. It never WOULD have started if I hadn't developed strong feelings of admiration for him already. He told me a little over a month later, for my birthday, lol. And it really was okay that he didn't rush to say it. He truly cherished and appreciated that I loved him. He did care deeply for me, that I knew. That was good enough. I was amazed that he allowed the relationship to carry on to that level, to tell you the truth. I really thought I was giving 'us' a kiss of death by proclaiming my love for him, so when he didn't turn tail and run, I knew I was more than a piece of ass to him. For him to allow himself to love me back has amazed me all along.

Lucky


Edited 5/24/2004 3:52 pm ET ET by luckyme814

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2004
My MM and I have been together for just about a year now, and no we have never said, "I love you" to each other. Although when we are "together" it is at the tip-of-the-tongue, I just can't muster the words. I know I have deep loving feelings for him, and I would do anything for him... but the fear of him not returning the words back would kill me.

However, I have said to him on numerous times you know that I'm falling in love with you, and he'll return those words to me... but for the actual "I love you"... nope. I guess that way it's safe, but allowing the other person to know there is a bond growing.

Yet I say it to my DH all the time, and don't romantically, physically, or emotionally love him at all! OY!

jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2004
I say it to my H all the time too. I think it is more a habit. I do love him but not in that sense. My OG and I only say it when we are looking at eachothers eyes. I feel so connected with him.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Never have used the "L" word. We have been together a total of 7 mos and he professed "deep feelings" for me four months ago, I just recently emailed him I felt the same way. He didn't turn tail and run either so I am thinking his feelings haven't changed. I am deeply afraid of that word in our situation. If he said it I would be on cloud 9 I know it. And then I would jump right in with him. Then I would expect more from him so I'm not 100% sure I want that right now. We are taking everything VERY slowly and I like it that way. I sometimes do wonder if I am just infatuated with him, he is so gorgeous in my eyes and he tantilizes all my senses!

But I never say NEVER

dd


Edited 5/24/2004 4:53 pm ET ET by deedee5678

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2004
I have been in my EMA - 2 years now

I said the I love you's first because I knew MM was waiting for me to say it before he would - this took me 8 months into our A and after our first period of long (mutual NC)

At first MM hesitated -- possibly unsure if his feelings were love and not maybe lust or

confusion -- but once he said those magical words and saw how it softened me and made me more loving and appreciative of all that he gives me he opened up immediately and has not stopped

Now we use the Love word along with lots of other words of adoration about each other and each and every time I hear the words they instantly bring a smile to my face -

If it has changed our relationship it has helped me find contentment and safety within the EMA --

I have days and days of just real mellow and happy feelings - which I know are from knowing there is this one person who is out there loving me from afar -

I agree it does take a great deal of courage to express yourself this way because of many factors -- but it does feel absolutely amazing to know I am so important to someone who is so important to me

Kikki

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Yes, we do! It happened about a month and a half into our relationship, before we'd actually ml. We spent a lot of time together before we got to that point. Oddly enough, we said it at the same time. It was probably one of the most amazing moments of my life. I can still remember how I felt. That I had never felt that way before. Here we are a year later and nothing has changed. Everytime he says it, my heart flutters.
Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
I wonder sometimes if that is something my MM says at all. When he told me he had "deep feelings" for me, he also earlier in the conversation said he had "deep feelings" for his W and always will. Those exact words.... seems he would have said LOVE when talking about his W!

interesting thought hmmmmm

lol

dd

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