Does anyone else ever feel like this????
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Does anyone else ever feel like this????
| Wed, 08-13-2003 - 3:20pm |
I am sooo aggravated right now I don't know what to do. I haven't talked to MM all day and only once for just a few minutes yesterday. Sometimes, I just get so pissed off and today is one of those days. Me and MM have been getting along since we had our discussion about the feelings we have for one another and said the 'love' word. Here's the problem, there are days that I talk to him nearly all day (between his customers) off and on and then there are days like today....when I haven't heard a word out of him...not even a text message. << I think 'well, he IS at work and he's probably busy...but still, nothing at lunch, nothing all day...am I just being a baby???? I mean I know when he has his employees close by, (on the days that he's not alone) he rarely has ever called, but still...I think, can he not go into his office and simply text me a message on these days?? He has been SOOOO wonderful about calling at least once a day even when he has his employees there (at lunch, etc) just to 'talk a minute or two' usually, but he's making the effort..right? So, I shouldn't be pissed because one day passes and I haven't been able to talk to him. << Then again, I haven't been able to talk to him this entire week. We were together Friday night, I got a little upset because sometimes try as I may I just feel like a prostitute or something of the sort...he told me we had to make the time we have together work for now and that he loved me and things had been f****ed up for him for some time now but that he knew he loved me, etc. I didn't get to talk to him Saturday because H was off and here all day but he called me several times Sunday on my cell before I was able to get back to him, he was sooooo sweet and said he just knew I was mad at him about friday night, etc. I didn't talk to him but just a few minutes as he was headed home when I got back in touch with him, then Monday..I only talked to him a few minutes, yesterday..he called at lunch for just a minute then again as he drove by the walking track where I walk on his way home from work to tell me how good I looked, etc. This morning, I saw him again on his way to work...but he didn't even call even for a few minutes to say hi...this really pissed me off because normally he would on any other occasion when he has seen me. Sometimes, I swear I feel like he does it on purpose, like yesterday not calling until 2:40...knowing that H has been coming home at 3:00. I try my very, very best not to show I'm perturbed at him as I don't want to come off sounding like I have to speak to him every minute of every day....yet......I feel like if I don't say 'something' then, he'll just think it's okay to do me however...does anyone else ever feel like this? I mean, I don't want him to think I'm totally sitting here waiting on his call.....(I really am, but will only admit that to you girls here on the board..lol) I feel like, well...if he doesn't make an effort to at least call and speak today, he's off tomorrow...I usually never get to talk to him on his off days...though, really I don't know why? I mean during the summer I knew he had his oldest boy with him, but now he just has the 2 year old when he's off. I swear I feel as if I'm doing all the running, all the lying and he's just benefiting from it all, the only thing I don't do...is I very rarely call him, I usually let him do all the calling, which to me seems only fair as I'm doing all the running. He acts like he can't leave his house for any reason once he gets off work (we usually meet each other at his work place after he closes) He acts scared to death sometimes, dang...this is driving me nuts, someone please tell me if you've experienced anything similiar!!

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