Does anyone else feel this way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Does anyone else feel this way?
6
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 12:32pm
I rarely call MM because he's very busy at work, and I'm usually pretty busy during the day as well. He usually calls me everyother day on his way home from work. I'm not comfortable in emailing since it leaves a trace. And we meet for lunch or dinner every week. Right now, I'm content with this level of communication. However, after reading some of the posts, it seems many of the ladies here talk with their OM/MM daily and for long periods of time.

Are there others here who have the same level of communication as I do, and are you comfortable with it? I'm wondering once this progresses to the next level, that I will want more communication. I'm rambling.........thanks for any input!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 2:10pm
I think sometimes it depends on how far into the A you are, In the beganing (the "honeymoon stage") MM and I call chatted, e-mailed numerous times a day. Now 2 years in(the comfortable stage), we call ever day or so, e-mail (friendly stuff) daily, and we see each other(alone) once a week (at least we try). But we have standing rule, I'm here no matter when if you need to talk, If I need to hear his voice, I know how to reach him and vice-vresa! It works out well for us. I just spent a long weekend with H (Happy Annivesary) I havent talked or heard from MM since Thursday, and I most likely wont talk to him till tomorrow. I'm good with that. He is too. We see the prize at the end of this(another honeymoon stage), neither of us want to mess it up, by being careless.

dayz
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 2:32pm
I am on the tail end of the honeymoon stage and it is true that things do taper down. It's been 7 months so far, and the past month or so has been a bit scary because I was unsure whether things were ending or tapering down...but they are not ending (just had a great conversation with him); we are getting to that comfortable stage (and it's ok). Just be open and communicate with him about what you want.

We see each other a once or twice a month, and phone or email about every other day. It works for me -- but I do miss him sometimes. That's the way it is!!

Good luck to you,

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2003
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 8:43pm
Hi Charlotte--

I read " how Often" and felt a little left out...but after thinking about it,

we've been at this for five years and in the beginning it was more frequent,

we'd see each other every friday night for a long evening and we went out to dinner

back then too, after both his W and I both had second babies, that changed a lot,

because it was hard for either of us to get away. Lately he is having long periods of

wahtever he goes through more often than usual, I give it a few weeks and eventually do end up calling him.... I used to leave him message after message everyday...until he called telling me what a nut I am.... playfully and we'd end up back to laughing and teasing in a matter of minutes like nothing ever happened, for a while there we were

seeing each other every Saturday morning now when Sat mornings come I end up waking up looking at my clock every two hours and I feel very lonely when morning comes and I am still alone. Lately there is no pattern to any of it, but he always comes around.

I told him, if you don't want to see me anymore just be a man and tell me.... he's said,

If I didn't want to be with you I would tell you than not call you... So I was like kinda like the last 4 weeks....??? Anyway... he thanked me for not leaving him panicy messages.

Sorry for the long answer... just nice to share it with someone who understands the madness!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 1:36pm
I can e-mail - but it has to be through a Yahoo box rather than work - MM used to do computer work for the company I am at, so he is known here.... boo! Any way, we try to talk daily, but that doesn't always work. Generally, our telephone conversations have to wait until he is alone in his car - driving to appointments or on his way home from the office, so it varies. Sometimes it's daily, other times we can go a few days in between phone contact. I don't ever wonder or worry though since I know he's busy and I really don't want to be another "chore" for him to deal with, know what I mean?! I guess you just have to figure out what works best for you and for the timing of your conversations/contact. And you have to get at a level of comfort to know that even if you don't talk on the phone for a few days, nothing is wrong, and he isn't avoiding you....it's easier for me to give this advice during this EMA than my first. At least this MM is more direct and honest than the first MM I was involved with. Good luck to you - and if you're wondering, just ask! It makes it a lot easier than guessing! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 1:39pm
Hi msdeb

It never ceases to amaze me that people can actually carry these As on for years and years. I'm not sure if I could handle it for that long. It's also disheartening to think that the ups and downs could remain so intense for so long; I would have thought that after a certain amount of time the rollercoaster would slow down a bit.

It does sound like he cares, by the way.

Hang in there,

Charlotte

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Wed, 11-05-2003 - 12:28am

Hi life,


I'm guessing that my communication with MM is on a par with what you have... once upon a time we used to chat at least 3 times a week while he was driving home from work... nowadays however... he catches the train to work and only drive in once a week... this day we usually always try to talk... and get about an hours worth or chat in.


The rest of the time... it's email for us... we both use a hotmail account... our email is quite regular... at least once a day... sometimes up to four or five each way... just depending on how busy he is at work... I'm a SAHM, so for me... it's a little easier... although there are certainly times I am flat out.

Sweet
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