Does anyone else obsess?
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Does anyone else obsess?
| Mon, 04-26-2004 - 2:40pm |
Does anyone else obsess when thier OP doesn't call right back (or calls late in the day?) I have left 2 vm's for MM today (I'm sure he's busy...) but, my mind starts to wonder and I keep waiting for my cell-phone to ring. I need words of encouragement! I start thinking his W found out, he wants to end it etc. Things have been fine - we talked for a long time yesterday..we typically talk everyday - I just hate it when he doesn't call right back!

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Hugs and more hugs to you...
Sky
we were going to be together..then he got a call. I have
not received e-mail today neither........we all just have to
be patient, I guess.....I am sure they think of us, at least
that is what I keep telling myself.
Hang in their women, I know we are all consumed by them, and
most of probably love them.
What a life!! But I would do anything just to be with him for a
few moments in my life.
Bunny
Hi. I hope your day is going well, mine is about as busy and crappy as the last one was. It never really changes much; the shrieking chorus of issues and problems changes voices, but never volume.
I know that sometimes it's hard for me to be in touch. And I know sometimes you wonder if I'm thinking about you, or if I care, or if I'm happy or whatever. I feel really bad on days like today, I saw your number on my cell but the idiot in my office wouldn't shut up and let me answer it. I hope you didn't start thinking I was ignoring you or didn't want to talk to you.
You need to know that I wouldn't be doing this if you weren't important to me. I wouldn't put myself at risk -- emotionally, financially, personally -- if you didn't mean a lot to me. Life is just too complicated to add things that increase that complexity like another relationship unless I really want it. I wouldn't have done this (or at least, continued to do it) if you weren't an important, special part of my life.
Whatever else is going on, whatever else is stealing my time and this minute's attention away from you, please understand that when I have quiet moments to give to myself I really tend to fill them with thoughts of you. The time I spend with you is wonderful and relaxing and reminds me how good it feels to be myself and be loved for it.
I understand it's hard to keep from obsessing, and I guess in lots of ways I'm flattered by it. I probably do it in my own way sometimes, so it isn't that I'm not thinking about you. I suppose it's just that I don't always react to it or can't always take the time to react that I want -- I don't have five minutes to email something thoughtful, or I just can't seem to get a call in. I feel bad about it, but it's just hard... sometimes I feel like quick phone calls just make you more upset. I never really know for sure what to do, and when I think I do, sometimes I'm wrong or it's not enough or whatever.
I feel guilty enough sometimes for making your life confusing and somewhat more stressful, and once in a while it feels really selfish to be letting you struggle through this. Still other times I'm a little jealous; as men, we don't really feel right about obsessing over you so openly.
Maybe what I'm trying to tell you is that even though I might seem quiet or distant because I haven't called or emailed or whatever, there might be lots of reasons. Maybe I'm holding a call to you out there as motivation to reward myself for finishing this project on my desk. Maybe the line outside my office looks like the DMV and the people are just as cheerful. Or maybe I'm just out of sorts because I feel guilty right now and I'm afraid if I call you'll hear it in my voice and ask me questions I don't really have answers for. I really hate to hear you unhappy or feel you distancing yourself because you get afraid, and I know that's natural to do... so sometimes maybe I avoid it a little.
But please don't assume my communication lapse means I want someone else, don't want you, changed my mind or have issues I can't get over. If those things happen, I'll find a way to tell you. Or more likely, you'll be able to tell from what I say and do... so even though it's hard, try not to read too much into "quiet time." There's lots of reasons I might be quiet, and it's pretty doubtful that it would be because I have changed my mind.
I love you, and I didn't get into this lightly and without serious thought... I wouldn't leave it that way either.
Sorry if I confused you more than you were before. I just thought I should at least try to make some kind of sense of why I've been quiet. I hope this helped.
-j
Lucky
The best advice I can give is DON'T obsess, although I have yet to follow it. Every single time things have worked themselves out. I find that writing a letter to MM (not to be mailed) explaining how I am feeling does wonders as an outlet. Then, after he calls, I shred it!!
BTW RAIN...I am saving your letter, am siging it with MM's name, and I will read it every time I start to freak out. You are a true GEM!
Billie
I was reading through the posts, feeling pretty good that I'm not obsessing like I was...that even though MM's anniversary is this weekend and I know we'll be out of touch for three days, I'm okay with it...when I read your post...and I cried.
My MM is a writer, as am I. He told me a long time ago that he didn't and wouldn't just awaken one morning and decide "I'm not going to love her any more." He's proven that to me, as well. I'm gradually becoming to trust and rely on his love for me. (And believe, me - rely is a _really_ frightening word in my little world.)
When I read your post, I could hear him talking, saying the same things. I sent him a copy, (I hope you don't mind), and told him that when I read it, I thought of him...and smiled.
Thank-you for easing the little corner of doubt that I guess we all live with...at least for tonight.
Cazrida
BTW - all this obsessing - and I just picked up a vm from him, saying "goodnight baby - I'll call ya tomorrow" so..for tonight - I will not obsess! (until the morning..haha)
Thanks again,
Ducks.
Anyway, it's been 3 weeks since xMM called it off, and we are doing "the right thing".
OMG - Rain you made me cry!
I know that is exactly what xMM was thinking, especially when he would send me an email saying "Red, I'm not ignoring you, I'm just really busy and I talk later... Loving person of mine"
When will these thoughts leave my head?
I don't mean to bring anyone down, this has been a great thread, but I miss xMM terribly.
Tonight, my sister was over (she knows everything) and we were talking about my A. She asked was kind of underwear does xxx wear. It brought back a great memory. I said "He wears boxers, but not those lose ones, the nice tight ones. And one night we were together, I said to him, those are really great underwear - and he said Yeah! The old man doesn't look too bad does he - No he doesn't!!!"
**Sigh**
I said to my sister - okay we have to stop talking about this sh*t- I can't take much more. I'm having a hard enough time getting him out of my head.
Obsession? Oh I don't know - what else could it be?
If only I knew he was doing the same thing - maybe it would be easier, maybe not.
Do you think he's thinking of the time we got together, spontaneously and I said to him "Sh*t, you caught me wearing panties" and he laughed. Because everytime I knew we were going to be together I would only wear my sexiest thong, or nothing (blush)!
Do you think he's thinking of the Valentine's Day poem I wrote for him?
Do you think he's thinking of the time we were lying in bed and he said "We fit together so perfectly it scares me"?
Do you think he misses me like I miss him?
Obsession?
Do you think I would come to this board every single day if I wasn't obsessed?
I'm sorry - having a bad day!
Love you all for you support
Red
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