does anyone regret it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
does anyone regret it?
16
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 7:01pm
In the whole scheme of things, do ya'll regret getting involved with OM? Or is it worth every minute?

I am on the verge of pouncing on OM for the first time and just want to see where you all stand now looking back at your initial decision.

Thanks!

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Avatar for secrets86
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 7:11pm
I regret the circumstances, the timing of being

friends for a while but not truly finding what

we have in one another at a better time. But I

do not regret any moment spent with him, any

moment spent talking w/ him... I do not regret

what we have grown into. We've been thru a lot

as friends and as more and I love how we are

together; love the strong bond that has been

formed.

Even if this ends with me heartbroken... or him,

I know that if anything, I've been blessed to have

the opportunity to experience a R like this which

is truly unlike any other I've had before and that

a long time ago I realized how vulnerable we both

are in this sit. and if it ends... well, I've learned

so much from it already and will always love the

bond and R we have together.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 7:21pm
Hi ryle,

For me... I don't regret a single thing... but then I don't regret hardly anything I've done in my lifetime. On the other hand... I wouldn't encourage it either.

As I said... I don't regret my decision to enter this EMA... but it's certainly not been easy... the emotions are so more intense than in a normal relationship, they feel like they are amplified 100% and this makes the ups so wonderful that you feel like your flying, but the downs just feel like you've lost your wings and you crash back to earth... it really is a rollercoaster ride.

I never meant to fall in love... but I have... but in the process... I learned also to be able to give that love so freely and while it's not spoken... in many ways... I feel it returned and therefore don't feel the need to have it spoken.

I also found that I learned a lot about myself and discovered who I really am and in the process also to be able to understand the men in my life so much better.

Would I do it again knowing the concequenses... hell yes!!! but that's me and will always advise anyone else to think long and hard about it before walking into one. You have to be sure you are ready for everything... and I mean everything. The risks, the heartaches, the hurt as they may all be there.

Lets us know what road you decide to take and should you chose this one... we will be here for you.

luv and hugs

Sweet




Edited 7/20/2003 7:33:38 PM ET by cl-sweetc69

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 7:59pm
Thank you both for your input. Ya'll are so clear and calm about your own lives...I really need to take a deep breath. A day at the spa wounldn't hurt either. :-) Thanks again and I will keep you posted.
Avatar for secrets86
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 8:22pm
LOL! Please, don't feel you're out of the 'norm'

b/c you don't feel 'calm' and 'clear' about your

life. I go through diff. periods of time where I

am very unclear on what to do or where a certain

sit. is going. If none of us ever had doubts or

was certain on EVERYTHING, how boring would that

be?!;o)
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 8:35pm
How can you regret a cherished gift from a friend? That is what this is. In fact, I just told MM that I would never regret having him in my life. I would never seek a relationship like this, but I would not want to go back to being without him in my life and he feels the same way. Sometimes I want more, but it is only natural to want more of someone you love. Be honest with each other and you will carry it off.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 10:11pm
I do not regret the entire learning experience and the intense feelings that we had for one another. I do regret how it hurt my husband and children, even when they didn't know WHAT was hurting them. I also regret how it has destroyed my reputation amongst certain of those people who have found out about the affair. I also regret how blind I was and how much I compromised just to be with this man.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2003
Sun, 07-20-2003 - 10:25pm
Hi Ryle,

I totally regret it... I don't feel guilty about it, which is weird but I regret it, life was easier before my MM didn't show me all my H's faults and I didn't notice them and when MM showed me how I should be treated other then how my H was taking me for granted. And since my h found out about my A he's way different almost depressed, and I believe I've done way too much damage to our marriage. I could never tell my H that I actually have slept with OM, so I can never totally be truthful about my A and start working on our marriage. My H has changed a lot and I have too. In all my other relationships when things started going bad, I just got out, for some reason MM has some hold on me that's ridiculous, I hate it but I don't know what to do about it, cuz my H makes me so miserable that MM is my only relief from this household

So do I regret it yes...

=)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 1:51pm
I don't regret anything about MM. We met before either one of us got married, but the timing was all wrong. We were both young and stupid. But now, after 5 years with virtually no contact, he is back in my life. Things between us couldn't be better now(despite the fact that we married other people). I don't regret any of our bad times. I have only used them as learning experiences. Finding him after all those years has filled in what was missing from my life.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 4:39pm
No regrets - but each situation is different. Please weigh your thoughts carefully before jumping in.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2003
Tue, 07-22-2003 - 5:02pm
I'm sorry I got caught and I'm sorry I hurt my H but it was SWEEEEET

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