Does he really mean it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Does he really mean it?
3
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:37pm
My OM has said many times that he loves me (this time around - 5 years ago that was the furthest thing from his vocabulary, and I didn't say it either), but I just don't detect sincerity in it most of the time. Maybe it's because he's so young (23), or the fact that he has said that he's not sure of what being in love really is, but if it feels like what he feels for me, then that must be it. I wish there was a way to know for sure.

He's not really the romantic type, he doesn't really e-mail me, and he doesn't call much either, so I don't really feel much love from him when we're apart, but when we're together I feel I'm the center of his Universe. He pays attention to me alone, and shows me I'm cared for. We laugh a lot together and I see that he enjoys my company. The way he looks at me and kisses me also shows me that he cares, but why is it only when we're together?

It could also be that I know what a good liar he is... I've heard some of the stories he's made up and they're so believable, but he promises me that he's truthful to me.

I'd like some opinions on this, so please, speak your mind - all is welcome =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 2:17pm
hi crazy. "actions speak louder than words" -- how OM treats you, with kindness, respect, love, affection -- should be the indication of the depth of his feelings for you. try not to overthink everything he says, especially to others. i'm certain OM doesn't tell his guy friends he loves them, but he does embellish his stories to them a bit.

if you feel you are the center of his universe when you and OM are together, what else do you need? appreciate what you have with him. it sounds pretty darn good!!

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 4:53pm
Thank you, life! =) After I read your response I called him and told him, "You love me", and he said, "Yes, yes I do love you". Awww... after all this time he still gives me butterflies... *lol*

He says he's trying to be a bit more thoughtful. But he explained to me why he's the way he is, and I guess it makes sense. He says that when we're apart, he tries to stay a little distant, or he'll go crazy. He knows that I'm not available just whenever he wants me. It would be nice for him to be able to call me whenever, at home, take me out when he felt like it, see me when he gets the urge, but it's not possible. If he was to let himself get in deeper, he feels he may get a bit possessive and careless.

I guess if I had to choose, I'd keep things they way they are now.

Communication is great, isn't it? =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2004
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 5:10pm
I think only time can tell in this situation. If he makes you feel good when you are together why push it for all it is worht and risk losing that good feeling! Just enjoy each other and like I said , time will tell.