does MM keep wedding band on w/intimate
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does MM keep wedding band on w/intimate
| Tue, 11-11-2003 - 8:44pm |
MM keeps wedding band on when we are intimate. I dont wear mine. Sometimes when we are intimate , I just want to scream , "Take it off or be with her right now instead of me." Can I get some other replies on this ...If he wears it , and how it makes you feel. I feel like it is a slap in the face. thanks, Kitty

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And now for the unrequested advice - it seems as though your MM's wedding band is more a symbol for you of your pent-up anger and jealousy. "Be with her or be with me"? Even if the ultimatum's in your head only, it's still not healthy for you to walk around feeling that way. Trust me - I've been there, done that, and I don't recommend it. What I do suggest is that you be blatantly honest with yourself and with MM and determine what it is you REALLY want out of this A.
JMO! Good luck.
ItalianPisces
When I met my MM (at work), he didn't wear a ring. I still asked him if he was married, and he told me he wasn't. Since I work full time ( -- and then some. At that job, I was working 60 hours most weeks.) and go to school at night, I didn't have time for a "normal" relationship, so I didn't notice for a while that things weren't quite right. OK, and maybe I didn't want to notice. Little by little, the truth came out. After his W found out -- and she showed up at my house (I didn't let her in) and then we went out a few days later and I spent 2 hours answering her questions and being called a slut and a whore -- everyone at work found out about the affair, too. So, he started wearing his ring.
We somehow made it through all that (though I had to leave the job), but he is pretty much forbidden from wearing the ring when I am around, whether or not we're being intimate. To me, it is a slap in the face. A reminder not just that he is married, but that he lied to me about it and took away my freedom to choose whether or not to get involved in this kind of relationship.
That's just me and my story. I would think that how each person reacts to the ring depends on the relationship they have.
JMHO
InAConfusion
the first few times together we both wore our rings, I took mine off and never put it
back on b/c of our relationship and b/c I got pregnant soon after we started up again
( not his but I didn't know that at the time) anyway, he took his off after the first couple times also then neither of us ever wore them again.
I've never had my head in the sand about the Ms either of ours but I have loved him fifteen years of my life and I would and could not wear mine and I did not want to see his on either.
We never had a but a minor mention of it but that's the meaning of it all to me anyhow.
Most of the time, MM leaves it on, but only because neither one of us really even thinks about it. I hardly even wear my ring anymore, so it's usually not on. I must admit though, it tends to get in the way if I want to hold or kiss his hand, ya know?
if it bothers you that much, just ask him to take it off... what is he going to do, say no while he's laying there with you? if gets upset or defensive, well- that sounds like it would be a sign?
Complicated
dayz
Edited 11/19/2003 10:46:51 AM ET by learning_french
I don not want to be reminded that he is married. Regardless of the nature of our relationship, that is a part of his life that I want no part of.
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