D'oh
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| Fri, 10-17-2003 - 11:12pm |
When she came on board with our company I started working part time - MM and I thought that was best for a number of reasons but mostly because he didn't see "us" being able to continue in that environment - I didn't agree but I was putting "us" first so I did it!
But NOW - I've made the decision I want to work fulltime either with MM (and consequently his W) or I will move on and do it elsewhere... problem is I LOVE my job - and you have to understand how huge that is for me - someone who has job-hopped for YEARS and finally found this job almost 3 years ago that I can see making a career out of! I talked to MM - he said the green light would have to come from W so she didn't think HE was asking me to come back on fulltime. I wanted to know what HE felt but we didn't have time to talk about it that particular day...
Oddly enough SHE brought it up today out of the blue, wanting me to come back and assist her fulltime. Were it not for MM and I - this would be a god-send... BUT under the circumstances I'm not sure what to do! MM has not contacted me since his W talked to him about this and I'd told him she would be coming to him... he knew I wanted to talk to him about HIS feelings regarding it and he knows that after spending quality time with W today I'm feeling aprehensive about our A. I can't look that wonderful woman in the eye and lie to her - I can't befriend her and love her like I do - knowing what I know and how I feel for her husband! But I'm not sure I can stop loving him or even do the RIGHT thing at this point! :( AND I'm not sure I could work with him fulltime and 1) not want him or 2) not hurt that we can't be together or that godforbid, he be okay with us not being together! :(
UGH - not sure what to do people... any thoughts from the gallery? I LOVE my job - I LOVE my MM - I LOVE my MM's W/my friend and their 2 precious children - I've made a mess of things!
PS - this is a link to my other recent post - just incase you need more background info! ;) http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlmyaffair&msg=33489.1

I'm guessing my post is too long that is why no one is responding! :(
You have to choose -- your job or your A. (I think).
I don't mean to sound judgmental -- but I never could understand how people could swing being that closely involved with the H, W & children. I don't think I could stomach it all. The guilt would eat me alive (I think maybe that's what that last poster could have been referring to). That's just me.
Good Luck
Charlotte