Don't know if I am overreacting!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Don't know if I am overreacting!
11
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 8:40pm
I'm really aggravated! I talked to OM this afternoon and he PROMISED to call me after he got done work (5:30pm) and he was gonna try to come up! Well, I have not received a phone call. He knows this pisses me off! I understand if he can't make it up here but he should at least have the courtesy to call me! If I do not recieve a call tonight, I am calling him and breaking it off! Is that right of me or am I overreacting?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Thu, 03-04-2004 - 9:37pm
I honestly don't know what can be a reason not to call for a minute . Unless he is in the hospital or something like that . but I am sure that isn't the reason .

I have same problem with my MM .

Last week he was out of the country . I asked him to please call while away so we can talk about things with out him having to cut conversation after 2 minutes ............... of course he never called . I was pissed. So Monday about half an hour before I know he leaves work I emailed him a long email how I feel about everything and I can't go on like this . That he confuses me because one minute he wants me , the next he says he needs to make things better with W . That all I want is for him to make up his mind and let me know if he just wants me out of his life , just to say so .

before I emailed him the long email I sent him a short one to say expect an email .

I really didn't expect to hear back , but he emailed me right back . Sorry couldn't call while out of the country , couldn't get through .......... I will call while on the way home from work in about half an hour .............. of course he never called . Till this day he never called .

Ok fine maybe my email made him prefer not to call ................although I think it was a very nice email ...............then why did he say he will call . if he doesn't want to call why can't he just say - Sorry I don't want to call and I no longer want to talk . If he would say that it would be so much easier to let go . By leaving a possibility open it makes it so hard to move on . I mean if he wanted NC , then why did he send me a short email apologizing for not calling and saying he will call . then doesn't. These mixed signals are driving me crazy !! Geez , can't he just make up his mind !!!

Yes this is frustrating . Well when he will want me he knows where to find me . I feel tired of trying to contact him to get to talk to me . I will let time now pass , then when things don't get better at home , he will miss me , maybe then he will figure out what to do . and if things get better for him at home , well then I wish him all the best .

some men just don't know how to express their thoughts and feelings . Yes my MM is one of those . Looks like yours is too . as much as I miss my MM I am starting to think I should just let it go ..........right now the pain isn't worth the pleasure .

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 2:00am
SuperDiva-

Thank you for helping me realize that I was NOT overreacting! You made a very solid point: If OM or whoever states that they will call you, they should (on occassion we all forget or something does come up) but they shouldn't make a habit of it! It definitely sends mixed signals and when we get upset, they wanna know why!

While I was waiting for OM to call, I started thinking how I somehow managed to have my schedule and life revolve around OM and he doesn't seem to even care because he doesn't even extend the courtesy to call me or what not!

So, I text messaged (email through cell phone) OM. The first message read: "Hey-Thought you were gonna call me when you got done work." I waited for a while expecting OM to call and when he didn't, I realized that I am in way too deep!!! I can't say I am in love, but whatever these feelings are-they are NOT mutual and I want and deserve that! So, I sent him another message that read: "I'm Done! I hope you have a nice anniversary and are happy! (His 3 year anniversary with GF is this weekend.)

I wish him happiness because I do care for him GREATLY. I just realized how much I care for him and I wish we could be together and since that isn't the case, it is killing me inside!

He ended up calling me several times about an hour after I sent the last text message but I didn't answer my phone. He left several messages but I have yet to listen to them!

I know he'll email me tomorrow and I'm not sure what to do! Should I ignore them and cut all ties? Should I send him an email explaining how I feel and everything and then cut ties? HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 10:00am

hi hondagal -- listen, be strong!!

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 10:05am
I have the same problem with my MM, but it has gotten better. When we first started our A I was always wanting to talk to him, but I now know that his job is a very demanding one. But I stopped with the calling and the emailing and he finally noticed, writing me one time and asking why my letters were so short and why i haven't called him. Now it is him who calls, except now he sometimes calls when my H is home and its hard to carry on a conversation with him. He tells me that hes been thinking of me and wants to see me more. I'm not saying this will happen to you, but maybe you should try and not call or email him. What you are doing is good, listen to his messages but don't call back. If you haven't heard from him in a couple of days, then that might be the answer you're looking for. Move on with your life hard as it may be and,found someone who will care for you the way you want. You don't need the heartache he is giving you, you deserve someone better. Make your decision and be happy in your new life!! Good luck in whatever happens. I'll be thinking of you.


Hot

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 12:37pm
hondagal ,

I know how you are feeling . I am feeling the same way I also somehow managed to have my schedule and life revolve around OM , but he doesn't seem to put much effort back .

Like when he calls , but I don't really have time to talk , I make the time to talk .

I also wish my MM to be happy , even if it is with out me .......although that does kill me inside.



I know it is hard to decide what to do . Your head says one thing , your heart says another .

My head says , you know he is M , this is going nowhere . Every time we meet although it is fun , I am then left with missing him more ............ is this really worth it ?

at first I thought it was , now I am not sure anymore.

But my heart wants him and misses him . and it is so hard to let go ..........

so there is no exact answer what do you . Yes it would be nice to just be strong and say -never mind all this, I deserve better then this . If you can do that ,I am sure that is best .

So what did you do ? What did he have to say for himself ? Was wondering if these guys have the same excuses

xoxo ViperDiva

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 1:39pm
Thanx everyone for the advice! I could really use it right about now cause I am soooo confused emotionally!

Well, he called me like 6 times last night and left messages. I just listened to my messages this morning and he called and acted like he was just really really busy. He even had his friend leave 2 messages on my phone! This morning I read my emails and he left me this long email saying he worked late and then had to be "somewhere" in less than 10 minutes. I emailed him back telling him exactly how I felt which was that I am falling for him extremely hard and how I want to be together but I don't expect anything to come of that! He ended up calling me like 15 minutes after I sent the message and I answered the phone (i am a sucker for punishment!) and we talked and I told him that I think it would be best for us to be "just friends" because I can't hurt myself anymore with wanting him more than I can have!

So-I guess we'll see what happens!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 1:54pm

honda -- don't worry, even though you're confused and upset right now, you'll feel better in the long run if you stand up to MM for what you need, which is very little, just some contact by phone or email when you reach out to him.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 2:35pm

I still, after 4 years, get annoyed and upset when my MM does that to me. He calls me on his way home from work. At first, when he wouldn't call he would apolgize & explain, then it turned to he stopped explaining & apologizing, to now, I know when he's not going to call because he'll send a email saying he's tired or something to that extent in other words

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 3:07pm
We occasionally go through the same thing - as a matter of fact MM hasn't returned my call from 11:30 this am and I'm feeling a bit "antsy" He goes from calling me three times in an hour if I don't return his call or going all day and not calling. Is it a man vs. women thing? I think we (as women) think too much!!!!

Hondagal..go have yourself a great weekend and take some time to think about what your really want and if it's all worth it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Fri, 03-05-2004 - 3:31pm

That has happened to me too, :)! It's "OK" if he goes a day or

 

Pages