don't know what this is...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
don't know what this is...
1
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 7:02pm
Well I met my husband's best friend about five years ago and was attracted to him the first time I met him. He is about eight years older than me. He never made one move on me. Then on day my husband and I had a party and his wife went to the store and he kissed me. It was unbelievable! My husband didn't have a clue. We have messed around with each other on several different occasions and each time seems to get a little heavier. We have not had sex yet though. (I do admit that I would love to.) Then we just stopped doing it for about a year because we just had this understanding that it wasn't right. Then last weekend he came over and it started all over again. We just can't keep our hands off of each other. I am totally confused. I feel incredibly guilty, but then I just can't stop thinking about him. I am very sexually attracted to him, but I am not sure if I am being attached emotionally. I don't see how I can be when we don't even talk between each of our "meetings". I know it is fun, but I keep thinking that if I really loved my husband that I wouldn't be doing this to him. Anyone have a thought. What would you say to this guy. Oh, the very first time that we kissed was just recently married 2 months earlier. Which make the situation even worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 1:03am
Hello Jhall,

Hmmm...it sounds like you know what you want. If you can muster up the courage, maybe you should find out what he wants, and go from there.

Does it matter to you that you are not emotionally attached? Have you considered that if you are physical together that you could become emotionally attached, and that the guilt may become worse?

I go from being emotionally attached to being emotionally detached with MM - and the same goes for him, I know. We can have "breaks" and still be friends and care for each other...actually we need the breaks, sometimes to get our heads together, sometimes to concentrate on other areas in our life, sometimes just to do our own thang. We are still physically attracted to each other though - and sometimes we can't keep our hands off each other, sometimes it's a slow burn.

As long as it works, and you are both comfortable and happy with what is between the two of you (and you aren't taking unnecessary risks), then it is good.

Just my humble opinion.

Good luck,

Meow