Dont know what to do, help!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2003
Dont know what to do, help!!!!!!!!
1
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 1:18am
Hey everybody, well i just wanted to post about what's been going on in my ema lately. As u know i started feeling like mm was avoiding me for some reason, i mean i felt like all the signs were there. Well i finally heard from him and he wanted us to meet up and spend some time together b/c w was going out of town and he knew this would be a great opportunity. So we met and talked and of course we finally made love in a bed for the first time, it was great, i guess i got into it too much b/c i stared in his eyes and said I love you which i already told him that on the phone and in emails but never face-to-face, so he responds with "I know you do" that hurt, it felt like someone just took a knife and stabbed me in my heart. after that was said we finished and started getting dressed. He then looked at me and said "I am falling in love with you" and that was it no going into details or anything so we finally got dressed and as we were leaving i said so u meant what u just said back there and he said "yes". I just dont understand why he couldnt have told me during sex when i told him i loved him, and now im starting to feel like MM will never love me and this is been going on for 10mths now. MM will not talk to me about his feelings, i basically have to drag them out of him, but what's weird is MM and i were talking and i asked him how was work going" and he said "it sucks", he is trying to find another job in another state, so i asked him if he had any job proposals and he said he is suppose to hear from someone, well i told him that i wanted him to be happy, and i didnt wont to hold him back from leaving but that i wouldnt be happy if he left, i asked him"how did he think this would work" and he said easy, i would want you to go with me. So after that conversation i was floored, i mean we have talked about the future together but MM will not talk about the present and it really scares me. I feel like if we cant talk about this now, then how in the world will we be able to talk about it when we are finally divorced and with each other. I told him that i was thinking about getting me a job in the town i live in until his job goes thru and asks him "how would he feel about that" and he was like well if i make such amount of money than hopefully u wont have to work and can stay home. See as of right now i am a stay at home mom and he knows that i rather be home with the kids instead of working. I am just so confused, i know if he wasnt serious about us than he wouldnt be talking about the future together but i dont know how to get into his heart. I mean we laugh, and talk but as for the where is the relationship going, he cant open up. Im scared that if it's like this now with him not being able to express how he feels that we wont make it. How can i get the answers that i will be comfortable with if all he does is change the subject. I really need alot of advice on this one. thanks for listening and sorry so long
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Sun, 11-16-2003 - 9:59am
Just my personal opinion here, but if you can't get him to talk to you openly, I wouldn't trust what hes saying on a whim. He may have only been caught up in the moment and blurted out what he thinks you want to hear. I would set him down and have a serious heart to heart before making any plans to change my life for him. and don't let him walk away til you can get him to open up fully to you.

IMHO

Tam