Don't know what you have until it's gone

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Don't know what you have until it's gone
11
Thu, 10-30-2003 - 2:03pm
I have been reading this board since yesterday. I think it is a great thing to have somewhere to talk about the one thing in our lives that we can't talk to anyone about. Anyway, I am in a sitation that I did not consider an affair until now, that it seems it is over. I have a SO that I have been with for 6 years and have been having sex with a MM that I work with. The whole thing started with flirting and then went to HEAVY flirting, and then in a matter of days we kissed, and then had sex. I had decided after we ended up kissing and touching (all clothes on) that we COULD not sleep together and we would just stop the flirting clod turkey, because it was stiring this incredible HEAT between us. I have never had the build up of wanting someone so badly as I did with this guy. Any way we did the whole, O.k. we should stop, and then the do you want to meet at lunch today back and forth that I am sure you are all familiar with. The las time we had sex was Friday at lunch. (his initiation)- He has initiated it every time but one. Anyway the reason the whole thing came about was that neither one of us was getting things "taken care of" at home. My So and I have other problems on top of the sex issue, but MM says that that is his only problem. O.K. - to my delimma, we never really defined terms (MM & I) and he has not been at work this week until today. Well he comes in today like nothing happened - I haven't heard from him all week, and so I threw the offer out there at lunch. i called him after he left the office and said. I was going to see if you wanted to meet, but I guess it is to late - ha was already home- and he said, but thanks for the offer. So, what is the deal. I didnt really consider what we were doingas a affair, but now that it feels over - no flirting, denial of offer, it kind of stings like something has ended that I really enjoyed. Noe I am wondering, does he just think I am a whore and wants nothing to do with me. Am I no longer attractive to him? OF course this also is a bit of an ego punch because i get turned down at home at least 1/3 of the time I ask for it. Should I just wait to see if he brings it up again, or what. Thanks for any replies, I know this was a long, involved post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Fri, 10-31-2003 - 12:30pm
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Edited 10/1/2004 6:50 pm ET ET by sally289

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