don't want to have a panic day.need a
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don't want to have a panic day.need a
| Mon, 10-20-2003 - 7:50am |
cyber hug or 2....sat nite om came out of his way to see me.it was wonderful but as usual by the end of the night i was hiding my panic...i sent him an email w/ all my emotion & love poured into it.i tried to sleep & couldn't & for the 1st time in forever initiated sex w/ h.it was calming & even more satisfying than my grope in the car w/ om the night b/f.mixed emotions.was this A improving my marraige by waking up my libido?was this what it's like when he makes love to his fiancee?&WHY HASN'T HE RESPONDED TO MY LETTER YET????????i know his afternoon is filled & i do not expect to hear,but i need contact...i need to know he read my letter & feels the same way.i NEED.we need eachother...why does this stuff happen?is it all real...finding your true love too late or is it simply a way to escape from real life & create chaos in our lives?i often wish i had never ever met him.it seems as tho i wish but realize that the situation is impossible.i keep wishing for his devotion but somewhere inside i wish i would wake up & snap out of it!!!!!!i've vented & i feel better(a little)thanks!
Signatures On
| Mon, 10-20-2003 - 8:36am |
okay, you will be okay.. i wish i could offer more support. i think that it IS possible that all the bull with OM has lead you to see things that always existed in our H. THings you once loved etc.. but were blured by the roze tinted glasses for OM. And now all the waiting for responses, needing his contact, his validation is just wearing you out and you think that maybe it IS better if you didn't need so much. Someone on this board once told me, a girl has to keep her pride.. that really rings in my ears daily.. i hope i that helps a bit
| Mon, 10-20-2003 - 9:59am |
You sound very much like me. I panic all the time when OM doesn't call. I take it very personal. My mom (yes, my mom!) told me that OM's ego gets the best of him. Also, OM already knows he "has" you, so why bother trying so hard to get you anymore? In addition, part of the "excitement" is in the chase...the hunt....the process of getting you......You've fed his needs by calling and initiating.....Now, it's YOUR turn to let him show YOU how much he wants you. You cannot force him to call you. If you beg him or use guilt to make him contact you, then he knows your desperation. I know, because I did this all the time. In fact, as of last weekend I was doing this. My mom set me straight. If OM thinks he has me and won't contact me because of this, well....then I will not call anymore..... that is his loss....(i've got an attitude right now...sorry) :)
| Mon, 10-20-2003 - 10:22am |
No panic vibes coming your way anon.3 I know what you mean by panicing and imagining the worst things possible when you don't hear anything reassuring from the them. Just keep busy so that you don't think about it all the time. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
| Mon, 10-20-2003 - 10:53am |
THANK YOU!!!!!!!(deeeeep breath)what on earth have i gotten myself into??????
