don't you want more?
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don't you want more?
| Mon, 05-17-2004 - 9:30am |
Maybe it's because I'm so new to all of this and the inexperience is kicking in, but I can't help but read through the archives of posts here and wonder how the majority of you here can be ok, be satisfied with just an A. My A started about a month and a half ago, and it's been a crazy whirlwind of emotions and if I was to think that it was always going to be an A, I would get out now. I'm not ok with the sneaking around, with the not being able to go out in public, with the constant worrying about being caught......how do those of you who've been doing this for a long time, handle those feelings? I'm having trouble enough trying to keep my heart from getting too attached to this wonderful person I'm with that thinking of it always being like this really frightens me. We're both in relationships (I'm married, he's in a long term relationship) but we've already talked about leaving and I think it's only a matter of time. But I guess my real question is, how do you handle all the emotions that come with this? How do you keep yourself from writing long, crazy, emails in the middle of the night? How can you not want more than this?

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Hi BBB,
I guess you can put me in the catergory 'doing this for a long time' it's been 4 years with MM now.
Sweet
Co-Community Leader My
I also did not intend to be involved in an A for this long, over two years now, but I fell in love and cannot live a life that does not have MM in it. I need him and he needs me, he has helped me survive so many difficult things that have happened to me that I never again want to deal with life without him by me side (at least some of the time). It has been sheer torture every day of this A, probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with but yet I do because I love him. Time has never passed so slowly as I wait for his kids to get older in the hopes that then he will leave his W.
You are definately NOT alone in feeling this way, to the contrary you have much company and if you ever need to talk this is the only place anyone will understand how you feel.
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