Dont'cha just hate

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Dont'cha just hate
5
Fri, 02-06-2004 - 9:50pm
when your plans go awry? I am fortunate in that SO and I get a LOT of time together and I am aware that we are luckier than most. But usually it's during a time when we have to watch the clock and be back to work by a certain time. Fridays are OUR day. I am off. He doesn't have late duty. So he's able to be at my place after work for a good couple of hours. Except today. He had an emergency at work and had to work late and wasn't able to come by at all. I know the nature of our work and of course I understand and it's not like this is an ongoing problem. In fact this is the first time that's happened, I think. But it bummed me out nonetheless and ruined my day. I hate this.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 4:38pm
How is it that your SO is visiting at
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 9:01pm
Yes, that is a calculated risk we take. My advice on the hotel, btw, was in reference to the idea of her OM moving in with her. THAT is a really bad idea.

My SO doesn't live with me, but yes, if stb-x did want to snoop, he would find that OM comes over 4 or 5 days a week. But I don't have an antagonistic relationship with stbx, first of all. Secondly, with the approach we're taking to the divorce, it's agreed that it will be a cooperative endeavor with no spying, litigating, etc. Also, the times when SO comes over is about 6am for about an hour most days. Ex has custody of the kids, so he's getting them ready for school most of those days. On Fridays and the occasional Mon or Wed, he'll come over about 930am when we/he gets off work. That is our riskiest time because it's daylight and ex doesn't work, so, in theory, he could 'pop by' and find us out. But he never comes over unannounced, nor do I. We have respected each other's privacy. Also, I live in an apartment complex and SO rarely parks right in front of my building. He usually parks a few buildings over for our daylight visits. If ex were to come by then, it's easy enough to just keep SO in the bedroom while I get rid of ex. Ex, again, respects my privacy and never ventures further than the dining room unless the kids take them to their rooms to show him something.

So, to answer your question, yes, it is a risk. But I don't think a very great one. We're fairly far in the process of negotiating the agreement - he's proofing the latest rewrite now - and so the divorce should be final at the end of March.

Lucky

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 10:16am
OK, I get your point. I didn't realize the previous poster was talking about her om/mm moving in with her or vice versa. Thanks for your reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2004
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 12:27pm
Yes, it sucks and I hate it too. But its part of the territory. Winter time has a way of screwing up plans big time too! Come on springtime!!!!

Mama

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2004
Sun, 02-08-2004 - 12:37pm
I have seen that spring is really bad time for me always - my xom had way of messing up my mood when it came to spring, esp around April. I can't apply your logic to my situation.