Driving me insane
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| Sun, 02-01-2004 - 2:10am |
I started this new job last Oct. It was a really excellent opportunity for me. I was assigned to a particular project and I was told that someone was flying out to assist me.
So it's Monday morning and I meet this new guy I am to be working with for the next two weeks. We shook hands and at that point there was no physical attraction. I wasen't even looking or thinking of having a romance. Well guess what? Something got me really bad. Is this just a crush? For two weeks we were inseperable. We worked from 8 am to 7 pm, he took me to lunch everyday and we had some deep conversations. I was so happy during this time, I have never encountered this feeling not even with my husband. I showed him around town we went to coffee shops and just hung out. We had no intimate relationship. I had the best time until it was time for him to leave. The day he left, we spent the entire day joking and laughing. It was time for me to leave home and he walked me to my car. I remained professional by thanking him for assisting me but I could not hold back my feelings. I told him give me a hug and we hugged for awhile until I let go. As I drove off I watched him thru my mirror standing there watching me drive away. I felt so sad. I woke up the next day feeling so empty and all alone again.
It's been two months now and I haven't seen him. Although we talk alot still and chat alot online. I find myself addicted to him. I wait for him to call or email me and when he does, I feel so happy. I come home and feel so unhappy and just wish I can have that with my husband. Me and my husband have grown apart and not because of this incident, it has been this way for at least 3 years. He could careless about what I do. He never asks me about work or anything. I feel lonely with him. He goes to work and comes home tired and goes to bed early. On the weekends he works around the house and goes to bed early. Almost like a robot no human interaction. I have tried everything to get this man to take an interest in me or do something exciting. With my friend, I feel so alive I can't even explain. It feels good.. Two days ago, I had a 3 hr conversation with my friend and it got a little intense. He must wonder how I feel. It is driving me crazy. I think about him all the time. He travels 90% of the time so he is always on the road. He made a comment that he really wants to come back to my town. Or I should come visit him.
Today,I told my husband I was going to go out of town for a seminar just to see what he says. I usually travel 3 times a year on business. He said I will take you to the airport.
Is this the green light for me??? Can anyone just give me some words of encouragement?

It's not for me to encourage or discourage...only you can make that decision.
But, before you do, you may want to read from the archives on this board. Do you think you can maintain where you are at now with your friend (let alone, "cross the line") as well as your marriage? Will one affect the other? Can you stay balanced and happy? Will a LDA (Long Distance Affair) - whether emotional or physical - be enough? What do you expect? What does your friend expect?
Yes, it could be a green light to go ahead and pursue the affair with your friend, or it could be a red light to stop and talk with H (husband) about your M (marriage).
Whatever you decide - I know it has helped me to write it out via this board. And, we're here to listen. Best of luck
Meow
hey angel, listen to meow, she's a smart one!
you are experiencing the buzz of something new and exciting -- the opposite of your M, as you describe it.
CL-Gurlfriend50
Co-CL of My Affair Support Board