Dropped and picked back up....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2008
Dropped and picked back up....
7
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 8:53am
I am irritated with AP right now its not even funny. I feel like he just drops me whenever he wants and then when we gets ready to comes to pick me right back up. This is the second time this has happened. Yes I understand it is the Holiday's. I have heard nothing from him since Tues before Christmas. I have sent text and tried to call and nothing. If you recall this happened a while back also where I heard nothing for a week or so. That time is was evidently for a work issue. I don't know. But I do know that I am not going to be dropped and then picked back up whenever and that we are going to have a little talk about this whenever he does decide to talk to me. I mean he hasn't even once checked to see if I am ok or nothing. No how are you or anything. I could be dead for all he knows. Would he care..probably not from the way I see it. We were suppose to have a trip in Jan. He was going to fly in to visit. But ticket prices have gone thru the roof. Of course when we talked about this we picked the weekend out and everything. I told him how much the ticket was he said that was good. We he didn't book it cause he always waits till the last minute and so they have shot up. Plus I don't count on anything planned until the the ticket is booked. Then I know. But now since I haven't heard a thing from and I saw the prices...don't think it will be happening. So I have made other plans for that weekend already. HA I am going to laugh if he calls and says he is coming. He tells me to start planning for it but he doesn't want to himself. I am about ready to just end it all. I really don't have to put up with this. He isn't even married. He has a son but lives in FL. So I mean he has nothing preventing him. I can play stupid games to because I think that is what he is doing and I am sure not chasing after him. So for being so ventful. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 9:27am

I can totally understand where you're coming from. I know I have used this analogy before (I know, I know, I'm working on some new ones) but it fits here, for you and me.

I liken being in an A and being the OW to being like a ragdoll. When he's ready I get picked up, played w/ loved on, cherished even, but when he's done I'm thrown back in a corner to wait until he is ready again. Not a pleasant picture is it? Well, I grew tired as well. My xAP wouldn't get off the fence, so I grew a backbone and walked away. For how long only God knows, but I feel good (Well right now anyway) I am trying very hard to keep busy, and take good care of my body.

I totally support your ideas of just dropping the guy. I mean I thought you said that he wasn't even M, but just had a kid in another state. If I'm correct in what I said I think that you are being used, and you need to remedy that situation w/ the quickness. You deserve better. I have learned (Perhaps a little too late) that my body is a jewel, and there are very few people who deserve for me to share it w/ them. Actually there is only one for me, xAP, but he is too much of a bunghole to appreciate it. So I carry my jewel w/ me, and hope that one day he will wake up, and turn me into a real girl, and let me shed that outer ragdoll exterior. I'm not holding my breath.

Good luck in whatever you choose. Have a great New Years Eve, and stay safe.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 9:57am

Justice, I'm still newish here, so your old analogies are still fresh to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 10:16am

You are so very welcome wannabe. I'm glad that the analogy fit you well. It certainly defined my status at one time, well, several times in my life.

I too just broke up w/ my xAP right before Christmas. I have some complications in my situation though. We share a child together, and have been off and on for about 8 yrs. That's a lot of cold nights, and lonely days. I SO want NC, but w/ our son it's impossible.

There has been times where I have broken it off, and went NC until he called to see his son. When he would get here he would be talking and all I could see was his sexy lips moving.I couldn't even hear what he was saying, I was entranced by them. I knew what they felt like on mine, and it drove me NUTZ! I usually cave when it gets to that point. I have since learned to go upstairs or to the basement when he comes to get our son. It works sometimes, but he will usually make up an excuse to see me, so he say he has to ask me something. He knows what he does to me. On a real weak day, I actually leave until he's gone, because I love SO MUCH, that just his mere presence sends me fruit loopn'.

I'm really glad that I was able to help. I'll be around, just holler if you need me. Have a great New Years Eve, and please read my New Years Eve Warning post.

Justice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 11:28am

OMG - Justice - your analogy is wonderful - but I am sitting here cracking up - bunghole??

lightning in my heart

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 11:32am
Vent away, hon..that's what we're here for. Perhaps putting your foot down and letting him know where you stand will change things. My AP was so sure that I would come running right back the last time we split up and it shocked the h*ll out of him when I didn't. He told me that it hurt like h*ll to watch me walk past him everyday and not talk to him and believe me, it wasn't easy, but I never told him that..LOL...I told him that this time, I will NOT lose myself like I did last time...I will NOT hang on every word because his actions need to speak louder than his words. Where all that "toughness" will get me, who knows. You hang in there and do what you need to do, but whatever that is do NOT lose yourself. :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-31-2008
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 2:08pm

Hijack warning

Just letting you know that it's still the same me, just a new name.

Lynn,

I don't know if you ever saw the post where I addressed you directly, but it is post like the one you just sent me that made me say the things I did about you. Things like you're kind, caring, graceful. You are always looking out for everybody, and keeping tabs on our emotional status. Just like a loving mother watches over the children she adores while they play. Thank you for that. There have been more than enough times that your wisdom mixed w/ a big batch of kindness have pulled me back from teetering on the edge. Yes very recently I allowed myself to breakdown.

I think I told you before that I am a diabetic, so I hadn't really eaten in like 2 days. I wasn't getting enough sleep because my little boy has been home from school for the holiday. Then there was that devastating call that I went on. The funeral for that baby was yesterday. Failed negotiations w/ xAP about another deadline. It was just a conglomeration of things that cultivated into a very hard face plant for me. It was MOST difficult. I really had a rough couple days, I scared myself. BUT after some sleep, a shower, and something to eat I once again have the S on my chest, and a cape on my back. I am handling this......thing that I am going through, and suspect that I may come out on the other side ok.

Thank you Lynn, your a beautiful person, and I wish you a very Happy New Year!

Justice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2007
Wed, 12-31-2008 - 2:17pm

Oh Justice -


Thank you so much for your kind and wonderful words honey - I'm so glad to know that I have helped you even a little bit to navigate your way through the things you have been dealing with.

lightning in my heart