You are right - until you move past this incident, you and your H cannot have a future.
I think that when he decided to stick with you, in a way that should've meant that he is willing to trust you again. It is unfair for him to still hold this over your head. I don't think you deserve it. If he is with you, after a year he should;ve moved on. You can speak to him and ask him how long will this go on for? That you've done anything in your power to assure him that you can be trusted, there is nothing else you can do.
Don't let him hold this over you forever. It's not right.
I feel your pain. My D-day was 5 months ago. My wife still doesnt trust me. I understand that. But I feel that she has forgiven me. 90% anyway. That helps. I know that she may never fully trust me again but that's ok because I will never do anything wrong again.
We all carry our burdens and pains hidden, and sometimes we don't let other people see them at all.
I could not imagine how you must've felt when he died. There's a book i read a while back "will he ever leave her for me", and the subject of death came up. As the "other woman", how would we deal if our AP died, and we were not able to grieve him openly the way his family could.
Tough question and another nightmare of the reality of the A.
Stay strong, the worst is behind you now. You've made it this far.
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Thanks for the support and replies.
The extent of grief that I have that one of my best friend's is now dead is more
It has been a little over a year.
You are right - until you move past this incident, you and your H cannot have a future.
I think that when he decided to stick with you, in a way that should've meant that he is willing to trust you again. It is unfair for him to still hold this over your head. I don't think you deserve it. If he is with you, after a year he should;ve moved on. You can speak to him and ask him how long will this go on for? That you've done anything in your power to assure him that you can be trusted, there is nothing else you can do.
Don't let him hold this over you forever. It's not right.
Sunshine
.
Sunshine
.
Too late,
I feel your pain. My D-day was 5 months ago. My wife still doesnt trust me. I understand that. But I feel that she has forgiven me. 90% anyway. That helps. I know that she may never fully trust me again but that's ok because I will never do anything wrong again.
I did tell her
Hi,
I remember you and this thread.
We all carry our burdens and pains hidden, and sometimes we don't let other people see them at all.
I could not imagine how you must've felt when he died. There's a book i read a while back "will he ever leave her for me", and the subject of death came up. As the "other woman", how would we deal if our AP died, and we were not able to grieve him openly the way his family could.
Tough question and another nightmare of the reality of the A.
Stay strong, the worst is behind you now. You've made it this far.
Sunshine
.
Sunshine
.
Pages