EAP Wants to Visit Me! Confused!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2008
EAP Wants to Visit Me! Confused!
12
Mon, 01-12-2009 - 7:35pm

I posted before that I'm in an EA with a friend's STBX. We were trying to keep everything above board until he leaves his SO, so that if we do try

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
Thu, 01-15-2009 - 3:01pm

Okay, since you said I could post back, I will.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Fri, 01-16-2009 - 6:16am

I have to say that your feelings about not wanting to see him are right on point. It sounds as though you are a pretty level headed individual w/ a strong sense of right and wrong.

If it were me I would keep things as uncomplicated as possible, and turning your EA into a PA will only serve to muck things up. That much I know. If you are trying to keep it as clean as possible telling him not to come would be the right way to go. Once you introduce sex into the equation it seems like things spin out of control faster, and that makes it more likely that you will get caught.

If he acts like he is wounded that you don't want him to come, then I would approach it from the view that it would hurt you too much to see them together. Tell him how you feel about him, and explain that he doesn't have to contend w/ the fact that you have an H, and seeing you and your H would be difficult. Try to make him feel better based on how much you care about him. I think that will make it easier for him to accept.

I understand that you want to see him in person, but seek comfort in the fact that you are doing the right thing.

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