EMA, no kids, single partners
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EMA, no kids, single partners
| Sun, 07-13-2003 - 5:10pm |
Is there anyone out there walking in my shoes... Married, no kids, OM is single. If you have an opinion about this, I have a question: What are some of the reasons you stay married?
Thanks for the insight,
Pug

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What an amazing coincidence to find your post on this board. I just started visiting the board today, and am very similar to you. 35, married (9 years), and no kids. Yesterday, I was traveling back from a business meeting, and my CEO and I had drinks to celebrate a new client - nothing out of the ordinary. Out of the blue, our eyes connected, and I definitely felt that electric shock. It caught me totally off guard, and I hardly slept last night. Quite a lot to digest this morning - of course, I could be making to much of this, but it was undeniable that our eyes held too long.
In response to your question about why stay married without kids, there are probably many answers. I'd be happy to "talk" more with you - if you have any thoughts on my situation, I'd be very appreciative!
labs
A lot of the time, I ask myself this question. Part of the reason is that I remember how good my M was and I hope it can be that way again. Partly, because I still love my H or at least the memory of how he used to be. And I guess the biggest reason is fear. You know that old saying about the devil you know versus the one you don't. On top of that there are the practical reasons - finances, a business, and the fact that my family doesn't understand. I know this because I did leave, and they were totally unsupportive.
I hope this helps.
I don't ever want to marry again - so guess I see no point in ending the one I'm in.
OM and I get along great - but who know how things would be if I was single. We both are loners.
Would love to talk about the A. Most people are involved with MM - so I don't think they always understand what we are going through.
I do have to tell someone this - today Joe call and ask me for a ride to his house truck is in the garage and needed to go home and get his motorcyce to go to a meeting. He kissed me out side of his house. In public!!! We were in my car of course but anyone looking out a window would have see it. Sometimes I think he wants more than what he has with me.
EJ
Sorry for the delay in responding, but I've been away.
Oh, I hear you with the surprising connection and the subsequent loss of sleep. That's what happened to me... My EMA is with a professional colleague (different company) - though he had been trying for a while, it seems that all of a sudden I noticed. He pursued me slowly and persistently until we finally got together.
Not sure why I fell for his charms but I have been absolutely wrapped up in them for months now. I worry the bottom will fall out of my world soon. I just try to live in the moment to stay reasonably sane.
Good luck. This is a great group for airing your feelings anonymously. Go for it.
Pug
Do you really think you can go back to how it was before? Wow... I never thought of that. I don't think that could happen with me, but I sure hope it happens to you.
Pug
I understand intertia, fear of hurting others, fear of losing the contentment. But then again, I wonder how content I really am and why I'm holding onto it.......
A public kiss is certainly a message. How's it going?
Pug
Sorry I haven't been able to be on the boards much lately. The past week has pretty much sucked. I finally had a chance to check in yesterday, but there was no way I was going to post.
The answer to your question is no. Any hope I had of that has pretty much been dead since April. I guess that's why I'm here. Trying to sort things out from reading other people's stories. So far, I haven't been able to really find one to compare mine with. It's a doozy! Hopefully sometime soon I'll feel able to post some details.
I'll check in when I can, but H is on vacation this week. Let's see, it's Tuesday afternoon and we've only been fighting for about 24 hours.
lp
Hope you check back! My e-mail is ElizaJane_1850@hotmail.com
if you want to e-mail me.
It is going great!!! Went by his office this morning on my way to work for a little breakfast. Sometimes I wonder what it is I'm doing you know?
It is like I'm 16 and can't stay away from the "bad boy".
I know I'm way up right now and will have to come down sometime but for now woohoo!!!
EJ
EMA, no kids, single partner - my situation exactly. Why do I stay w/H? Fear of change. Things are good except in the bedroom and he doesnt communicate. I look at it this way, EMA works as long as it is for the sex only. Cant say how long that will/can last - but for now that is where I am at.
I feel guilty sometimes. Do any of you? I seriously think I can live with my guilt though. It's not as bad as I thought it might have been.
I'm also married (2 years this fall) with no kids and just recently (3 weeks ago) began an EMA with a single guy. This EMA is purely a physical relationship. I am finding that I can live with the guilt and it scares me and I wonder how long this kind of situation can go on. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will soon tire of the EMA. Yes, I'm being physically satisfied, but if a relationship is devoid of any feelings, then I can't see myself really wanting it to last long. The OM asked me during our 2nd time together whether I wanted a relationship or just a fling and I answered, "How can I have a relationship when I'm already in one?" I guess my feeling is that if it develops into something more I can only see trouble ahead b/c how can I come home to my husband -- I can hide the physical evidence but surely he'll suspect if my emotions are elsewhere. . .
But then again there is the possibility that I can get attached to the OM. Again, too soon to speculate. . .
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