EMA - no sex involved

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2003
EMA - no sex involved
4
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:23pm
Hi everyone! I'm new to this discussion and I hope you could help. I'm married to my highschool sweetheart for 3 years now with a son. We've known each other for almost 8 years now. I love my husband with all of my heart. Last year, our old acquaintance (male) moved to our city. He's also married with two kids. I was attracted to him for a whole year but my feelings didn't grow stronger until last month when we were moving out to another city almost 200 miles away. I am close friends with his wife but I'm closer to him. We started flirting at first until we kissed. Then, we started talking on the phone a lot. They have come to visit us a couple of times and we got to sneak some kisses. But that's all that happened. I know it's just a kiss but I feel guilty. The reason why we haven't had sex is because we just never had a chance. I'm hoping that even if we do get the chance that we won't do it. I know it sounds weird but I just really really like him. I want to do other things with him except sex. Maybe it's because I'm not sure where we're gonna end up in the future. He's also in the military and will be getting deployed for a year. That's one more reason why I don't want to go any further with him. But I can't let him go. I can't stop thinking about him. Has anyone ever been in this situation?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:32pm
Nope, never been in that situation, but there are plenty of others like you who post once or twice and then drop off from the board forever. Haven't you posted this on the board before? I vaguely remember the details but it sounded just like you. Hope there is somebody out there who is in same situation as you and will relate to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:49pm
Hi Geann09. The EMA i was involved in, was mostly emotional....sure, we fooled around and did ALOT to each other..but we never had sex. Not that I didnt want to, we just never got the chance. Sex is a big leap for me and the man I am involved with (he is single and I am married) is just a physical thing. We fool around and he and I have agreed that we want to have sex, it just hasnt happened yet. To he honest, my H was my first and pretty much my only (had a one night thing a few years ago after H (then fiance) and I split up for a little...i felt like shi* after) and to do it, is really more than just to do it, for me.....understand? But, because i am lacking physical love at home, might as well try it.

Best wishes.

Avatar for elizajane_1850
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 7:58am
hi Jelilynn

You said was involved - are you still seeing you OM.

I'm M and OM is S - We haven't had IC yet - and would just like to talk to someone in the same boat as me.

"Joe" and I have talked about sex (and played around a lot) but I don't want to "do it" untill we can spend the night/day together.

We have been seeing each other for close to a year now, last spring (02)we started flirting a lot, and then last Oct. he kissed me for the first time and WOW!!

I have never been a person who slept around, I've only had sex with my H - Sometimes I wonder if that is all it is, just someone different.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2003
Fri, 09-12-2003 - 9:15am
I haven't slept with my MM yet. I'm married too, so there's guilt involved on both sides. Also, no opportunity. We work together and we're never alone. We've talked about meeting outside work, but it's really too risky. We kissed a few times but the guilt overwhelmed him and he backed way off and now... Who knows? Things are weird between us right now, but that could change with just one phone call. I'd say be careful getting too involved before you're ready. Make sure he's someone who's not going to break your heart...and that you can handle it if he does. With him going away in a little while, I don't know if I'd get physically involved yet. Wait 'til he comes back, then see if things are still the same between you. It wouldn't be worth it for someone who's not going to be around... That's just my opinion, though.