EMA Rules

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
EMA Rules
9
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 7:37am
When my OM (other man? right? I'm new to all this) and I started our EMA, we came up with a few rules. Wondered if any of you have to. Ours are:

1. We're friends first.

2. The EMA is our secret.

3. Cherish the little time we have together.

4. Nothing can come of it, as we both are married with children and don't want anyone to get hurt.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 7:40am
Hooray!!!!!! Perfect rules for all of us to live by.....hooked
Avatar for 1hopeful1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:06am
Number 4 is the hard one for me to stomach! But you are so right!


Hope

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:09am
We didn't really talk about there being rules. There is one rule though - The EMA is our secret only. Other than that we don't have any rules really. We are friends first I believe just because of how our relationship has developed. We both planned to leave our marriages before we got together. So we don't have a need for many rules.

TIGERnME
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:25am
Good rules. I don't like the last one either, but it is a reality.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:35am
We started with those too (by the way, since you are both M, I believe you should call him MM, OM I think is used when he is single)but added some more

1. Always be 100% honest with each other

2. Always treat each other with the utmost respect

3. No games. Never make the other person wonder if you still want to see them or your feelings have changed. If they have, see #1, and do it in person.

4. Deal with any problems that arise in your own marriage. Don't let it fall apart because you are too "in the clouds" over your A partner.

I think those work really well for me. If I feel secure, I am happy. Your rules are good - we are having a hard time with number 4 though.

Ivy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:39am
I know...Even though we agreed nothing can come of our relationship, it doesn't mean I don't wish things were different. I would love to wake up to him every morning. Just know it's not going to happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:40am
Yes, all of your rules are very sensible and my MM and I abide by them too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:42am
These are good ones too. On your #4, I can add, 'don't constantly talk about the problems in your marriage and put down the spouse.'
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:43am
Those are good rules, too. We're very honest with each other, in what we want and need from our relationship - both emotionally and physically.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: stealaway
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 10:28am
I definitly agree. We hardly talk about our spouses as it is. Its better that way.

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