to email or not to email.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
to email or not to email.....
4
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 2:06pm
So I have spent the last 3 days sending various emails to my OM, waiting for a reply back or a phone call, and have received nothing. I do not have his cell phone number, as he wants control of the situation. Personally, I feel he doesn't trust me. Unbeknownst to him, I have his home number, but would never call it, as I don't want him to get in any more trouble with his g/f, then I would want trouble with my H. Thing is, I've got the time and we have the means to meet for a rendezvous this weekend, which is very unusual for us and I figure, why pass up a good opportunity. But if I can't get a reply out of him, there can't be any rendezvous and it's really starting to piss me off. I'm ordinarily a calm, patient person, but I detest having to wait for someone to call me or email. What I really want to do is send him a really bitchy email asking what is going on, etc., but I also don't want to push him away with my aggressiveness. It's funny, in my M, I've always been the aggressive one, yet, in my A, I'm the passive one, and now it's starting to get to me. I just want an answer about a meeting, is that asking too much? So should I email him and ask what the hell? or just let it sit there and go about my daily activities? I have way too much free time on my hands, and so I am constantly thinking of him and ways we can meet. Any input would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 2:33pm
".........It's funny, in my M, I've always been the aggressive one, yet, in my A, I'm the passive one, and now it's starting to get to me. I just want an answer about a meeting, is that asking too much? So should I email him and ask what the hell? or just let it sit there and go about my daily activities? I have way too much free time on my hands, and so I am constantly thinking of him and ways we can meet........"

Jen-

Boy, do you and I have this in common! I went through the same dilemma this week, especially yesterday. I was waiting for an email back from my MM to see if we were meeting for drinks yesterday. Well, I sent my email on Wed afternoon and at noon yesterday, still no response! Finally- A male-co-worker friend of mine ( who I trust implicitly) gave me a mental kick in the rear and said "hey- find your own destiny is this, regardless of what it may be- good or bad... Is this man worth torturng yourself over?" My friend also said " does this guy realize you are turning yourself inside out mooning and pining over him?" I said "no". Finally my friend said- "email. You have to... you need to know. You owe it to YOURSELF." So I did...

And the outcome was positive- we met and had a nice hour together.

Take a chance- it may not work out the way we want it to bit then we know instead of beating ourselves up inside and thinking negative thoughts.

Let me know how it turns out... thinking of you.

Hugs-

V .

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 3:18pm
If it unusual for him to not reply to your emails, then I would email him again. I'm sure there is a good reason.

If he typically pulls this move, maybe there is something more there going on with your relationship that you need to address. I would let some more time pass, long enough for him to miss this opportunity to be with you, then contact him for a deeper discussion.

Good luck and keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2003
Sat, 05-29-2004 - 7:06pm
Men are so finicky, that I really am stuck! I don't want to appear too needy, cuz guys hate that. But then, I don't want to be a doormat either. Thing is, my OM knows how it is between H and me and he knows he's my only source for gratification. Of course, he's also told me how he can do anything he wants with his g/f, she has no hold over him, yet, he's overly cautious when we get together. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being cautious, but if he doesn't really give a crap about her, then why be so selective about answering emails. And yes, he does this frequently. We used to send e-cards back and forth every day and IM almost every day, so I at least had some contact with him. But since his computer has gone on the fritz, he can only do so much online. Ugh, I just don't want to be one of those pushy, whiny women, ya know. He knows what I want and he knows he's the only one giving it to me. And again, we are back to the control issue. I really just need to not think about him for a few days. (Yeah, like that will happen!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2004
Sun, 05-30-2004 - 8:35am
You wrote that if you email him and ask for an answer about this weekend, it could push him away.

Just my two cents, but if he can't get with the program and give you a simple answer to calls and emails, then I say kick him to the curb. Do you *really* want someone in your life who *might* get upset or pull away because you "dare" to expect a reply about a meeting?

Time to say, "Houston, prepare launch sequence."