The EMA's effects on you

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2003
The EMA's effects on you
8
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 4:47pm
deleted


Edited 3/10/2004 3:47 pm ET ET by geek_chic
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 4:55pm

Hi geek chic,


Obviously I can't talk about my EMA to DH... he wasn't happy to find out the first time... so I certainly am very careful about what I do and what I say when I've seen or spoken to MM.


However with my marriage... MM and I will talk about our marriages and problems all the time... he has been a great help... giving the 3rd party point of view and also that of a man... and I've realised a lot of my own faults that I had in the marriage and where I used to do a lot of things wrong.

Sweet
Co-Community Leader My

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 5:01pm
I cant really speak about the marriage part because I am a SW involved with a MM but I can relate and most of the time I feel like I am living two different lives...I have my normal life with family & friends, etc...and then I have my life with my MM...no one knows about this life but everyone does know we are friends...sometimes it is hard to keep the two seperated...but the hardest part is not being able to share my happiness about my relationship with anyone...I resort to a journal for all of the ups and downs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-18-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 6:13pm
I too find it hard to live both lives and totally relate to the spilt personality thing ! I do talk with MM about my M and he does the same with me about his W. But when it comes to sharing things about my MM , I resort to this board or my "real good friend". (She knows who she is).

wishing~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-18-2003
Tue, 11-18-2003 - 6:34pm
Although he tries to hide it, MM gets jealous when I mention H. One time I mentioned a fight H and I had and MM seemed amused by it. H and MM have never met. I have met W at last years office party. This year H will meet MM at the party and I'm kinda freaked out by it. I'm afraid H will notice how MM looks at me. H knows about MM but just that we are work pals.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2003
Wed, 11-19-2003 - 5:37pm
MM and I are very comfortable about talking about our marriages, and like some of us here, maybe even really helping it to go better, taking that third party look, being objective.. I understand the split personality thing, not really two lives, but the fact that MM definitely knows me better than DH, no jealousy, accept that I wear DH's wedding ring, and not his.. But he definitely has a big part of my soul, that no one else has. So EMA is definitely a plus in my marriage, never thought that to be possible before meeting him.

Mitzy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 9:14am
MM and I discuss our M/s all the time. It kills me every time when he is telling a story of something that happend and he will say "I told my wife honey and then whatever it is he said" It is so weird hearing him call his wife honey. We haven't ever discussed the sexual part of it..I really don't want to know but we talk about our children every day, what we did last night etc just everyday stuff. We work together so we can talk about those things without anyone being suspicious. MM has never been jealous of H or at least he has never mentioned it. He wanted me to go for drinks last night after work with him and someone we are trying to hire but we were together the night before and my H was expecting me home so I told him I couldn't go and I could tell that he was upset that I declined.. he wouldn't look at me that is how I knew. Funny how I have come to know his "looks".
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Thu, 11-20-2003 - 2:20pm
MM and I are able to talk about anything and everything together, but I just told him the other day that I am actually uncomfortable venting with him about my problems with him. For example, we were out together one evening, and as we were driving to the location we were going to, we talked. During the discussion, he said something about if my H were gone, like he should have been, we would have more time together at my house. And it struck me as a double-standard comment, but I kept it to myself. I just thought, "IF your W weren't living with you either, we could have more time together too!" Anyhow, other than a few minor things like that, MM and I discuss everything together, including encounters in the sack with our respective spouses.

HTH

Tam

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Fri, 11-28-2003 - 3:07pm
MY MM and I also discuss everything about our M's icluding our sex lives with our respective spouses. We also discuss work, kids, families, and anything thing else thats a part of our lives. I would not call him my best friend but he does know me better than any other person knows me including my H.

 Seeburg