emotional infidelity

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
emotional infidelity
4
Sun, 02-22-2004 - 10:47pm
I met a guy through work about five months ago. We didn't really start to get to know each other until around Christmas time when my grandmother died of cancer. It got really intense after New Year's; he was transferred to a different branch but still in the metro area so we maintained communication through e-mail, random phone calls and weekly "get-togethers". I enjoy his company: he's funny, thoughtful, sweet and very much a friend I needed more than I realized. We flirted but nothing physical.

Tonight after dinner we were drinking coffee in a local mall food court and started to have a serious discussion about things in general when I confessed to him that on our last get-together I really wanted to kiss him at the end of the night. He replied he felt the same way.

We were sitting in the parking lot where I left my car and I struggled to get out of my car and we ended up kissing.

I've been married for less than two years to a guy I've known for six years. I'm tired of being the adult in the relationship. He doesn't know this person or these get-togethers. I should feel more guilty than I do but I haven't felt I've been getting everything I need from my marriage or my husband for a while now.

Where do I go from here? What do I do next?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 4:54am
I would suggest you also go to the "Ending an Affair" discussion group to get a realistic idea where these relationships lead to. Your marriage is still very young, and you may have entered the phase of no longer being "in love" but now both need to learn to "act lovingly".

I have been reading a book called "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. It is a classic, and has really changed my idea of relationships.

By the way, I am a regular at the "Ending an Affair" group, and just come over here once in a while to remind myself what I went through, and why I am working so hard to get over my XMM and make my marriage work.

Good luck.

Lala

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 9:39am

hi tstar and welcome to the board.

CL-Gurlfriend50

Co-CL of My Affair Support Board

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 9:57am
Hi Tstar. Gurlfriend is really right, you sound young and you didn't mention, but I'm assuming no children yet? If that's the case, you should really figure out your marriage before you get into anything else. If you have to walk, now's the time to do it.

So many of us here are already into longer term marriages, children are involved, its just not that simple to "walk away". God, some days I would give anything to be able to do that!! Just think it out for yourself, talk to H, try to work it out. If all else fails, move on and take it from there. Best wishes,

Dusty
xxxx
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2003
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 11:55am
HI Star

You listen to what these women are telling you, talk to your husband, if he does not take it seriously "DEMAND" MC or a legal seperation, let him know how serious you are.

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