Emotional to Sexual
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Emotional to Sexual
| Wed, 11-19-2003 - 2:09pm |
I have been in an emotional affair with a single guy (I'm married) for 9 months. We made out about 6 months ago and then he started backing away, never wanted to proceed even though I wanted to. I tried NC for a while but it didn't work. I started e-mailing him again and last weekend he e-mailed back and gave me his cell number. So I called and we got together and had ic. He said he would e-mail me but hasn't. I have not tried to contact him in any way. I just want for once for him to make the first move, but how long should I wait? I think he may be embarassed. He came after about 30 seconds of ic and said sex can't be good with me because he is always "scared". He also said what he doesn't like about me is that guys fall all over me and he's not like that. I said, oh that's nice, you F*** me and then tell me what you don't like about me. I think he felt bad. He said I was poison. Should I e-mail him, maybe saying I know you can't read my mind, so I want you to know I'd like you to contact me? I don't want to be a drama queen, he HATES that. I don't want to get too involved, I want to keep it light and fun. Any ideas or suggestions from anyone who has been there? Thanks, C

listen, he doesn't want to be with you, he thinks you are just fu*king around and by the way, you're married AND he's called you "poison!" PLUS, THE SEX SUCKS!! so what's the attraction here, the challenge or what???
how light and fun is this drama now?! really and truly, back off and let him contact you. you MUST stop chasing him down. yes, you caught him once and the result was pretty bad, wasn't it.
give him some undisturbed space, no emailing or calling his cell. he has to come to his own conclusion about how to proceed with you. you CANNOT MAKE him call you and/or want you!! SO PLEASE LET HIM GO!! AND KEEP YOUR SELF-RESPECT AND DIGNITY. DO NOT CHASE HIM!!
gurl
I just wanted to let you know that I am in the same kinds situation as you. I am usually the one who phones and arranges the meeting with my SG, and I so wish it was him phoning me. But that is why we are in these A's anyway, just cause we want more attention.
I agree with gurl, that we need to let these guys chase us down, we are not the single desperate ones, they are. That being said, I have a hard time obeying these "rules" as well. I text, IM, call, page...whatever just to talk to him. It's all good when we do chat, but sometime I wish it was him calling me again. However kinda hard cause he never knows when H is home.
So try to hold on there, and like gurl said, the sex wasn't that good so don't go out of your way to be with him. It will be my first sexual encouter tommorrow after about 6mths of IM'ing, sexy phone calls, and kissing...so I'll let you know how I am doing tommorrow night.
happy
Edited 11/19/2003 3:08:58 PM ET by caremc
Edited 11/19/2003 3:10:42 PM ET by caremc
Edited 11/19/2003 3:10:18 PM ET by caremc
gurl
But really try to think about what you've gained. You gained the experience with him and the knowledge on how to be stronger. You know I am terrified of this happening to me tommorrow (look under embarassing sex questions), I am so afraid that I am going to have sex with him (only the second guy in my whole life, my H of course is the one and only so far), and that he is not going to call or ever want to see me again. This is something I am trying to be prepared for, but I am willing to risk it just for the chance to f**k him, hehehe.
I am even planning on asking him and telling him that it is ok if his answer is that he will never call, talk, or see me again, I just want to know going in.
Hope all works out....remember we are married and there is someone in this world that loves us and wants sex with us with all the stings attached!
Happy
please just don't pursue him at this time. let him get back to you in his own sweet time.
gurl