emotional/sexual ema turning only phys?
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emotional/sexual ema turning only phys?
| Wed, 05-26-2004 - 9:59am |
My stbXMM has lately not had many words of love for me...almost everything I hear from him is sexual. Prior to this it had been very emotional. Because I have been waffling over whether to leave my husband, do you think that is part of it? My dh and I started counseling on Monday (went terrible and I felt worse after than before) and we both have individual appts today. Anyway, my stbxMM is coming here June 18-20 when my dh is out of town, I admit it is mostly for sex. He lives about 1000 miles away so most of our relationship is via phone/email...though decidedly sexual AND emotional. Sending pics, etc. Anyway, I am missing his love...

On behalf of the men, let me say: we are stupid and do things unintentionally.
That doesn't mean he hasn't shifted to a less emotional, more sexual idea. Maybe he has, maybe not. Odds are that he doesn't know he's done this.
It could be that he knows he's coming to see you, getting excited and is thinking sensual thoughts. I know that was what happened with me: when I was getting ready to go see my OW after two months of not seeing her, I found myself saying lots of sexual things to her. Our R was mostly email/online/phone when she was 2000 miles away, and our emotional situation did tend to turn more sexual when we knew we were going to see each other.
Just talk to him. He might just be focusing on the sexual because it's going to be in person in a few weeks. Be honest with him about how you're feeling and the stress you're going through, that with this counseling and such you need his emotional support right now; the sexual part will be easy enough when he's here. He might not realize things are where they are. Like I said, we men are a little dense.
rain