Encouragement....
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| Mon, 03-22-2010 - 11:42pm |
I've been reading this board on and off for quite awhile. Up until today, I never had the courage to post.
I was married for 13 years to a guy that most women would call "wonderful". Unfortunately, he wasn't "wonderful" to me. We have two children together and married quite young.
Almost 7 months ago, I met a guy online and fell head over heels for him. We talked online for a bit and then finally met in person. The first night we met, we both knew we couldn't walk away from each other. We had an 'affair' for a couple months or so. One night in November changed everything. My soon-to-be-ex husband text messaged me while I was with my boyfriend. That night I made a decision that changed my life. I had lied to my husband and told him I was at a friend's house. He needed me to come home for something and I didn't want to go pick up my car at my friend's house, so I asked my boyfriend if I could take his car. He said sure and that he'd wait at the hotel for me. I asked if he wanted to come with me and my whole life changed with that decision.
Within a week, my husband had moved out. My boyfriend and I are still together. I'm in the process of divorcing my husband.
So. For those who ask "Do the married ones ever leave their spouses?" Yes, some do. When you find true love and realize you can't live without someone - you do. For those who ask "Do relationships with your former AP work?" I say yes, they can.
I'll continue to read this board and offer any advice that I can. My affair wasn't long term - but I do understand the emotional roller coaster you ride when you're involved in one.
I've lost almost all of my friends because I left my husband. I've been branded a "slut" by people I thought were my friends. It's been hard.
But, it's been worth it. I am happy now. And that is what matters most.


earnhardt.jr.fan,
Thank you for sharing your story and I'm happy for you that you have found happiness in your new relationship.
He is a super nice guy. He'd do just about anything for just about anyone. From the outside he looked like the perfect husband.
The reality was - he neglected my feelings for a very long time. Whenever I tried to express my unhappiness, he would "pooh-pooh" it. "You're not mad" was his famous saying. I felt as though he didn't care if I was happy or not. So, while he may have APPEARED wonderful - I felt very neglected in the marriage.
Hi earnhardt.jr.fan,
I know exactly what you're talking about as I went through almost exactly the same thing.
I was married for twenty five years. He was a really wonderful guy and loved me very much. Three years ago an acquaintance of ours made a pass at me...from the first night (when we just talked) I knew that was it. Just like you. I hate what I did to my husband, but I couldn't have the affair behind his back, I just couldn't. I love my AP/BF in a way that I just didn't love my H. H moved out of the apartment, then he moved out of the province...our divorce became final in January.
AP/BF is married, with no plans on leaving...but I can't leave him, I love him way too much. He loves me too, and I hope and pray that one day he'll "get" it, and decide that he can't live without me. Yes, it hurts...but I think I'd hurt more if I didn't have him.
benska