The end

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2009
The end
4
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 11:04am
When do you know when it is time to call it quits for good?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2006
In reply to: jenconnors
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 11:11am

Jen,


I think that time is different for each individual person.


AP and I have been caught once, and he was caught lying last week about the A. (When we were physically caught, he lied to his wife about all of the details surrounding the A...she found some pics that didn't mesh with the story he gave her). Both times he has called it quits. I have not heard from him in a week...until yesterday afternoon when he popped back into my messenger. We have been talking most of this morning, and by the things he is saying I cannot say with 100% certainty we are done this time, either. He has not asked for our routine lunch meeting yet, but I have a feeling it is just around the corner. I do not know if I will accept the invitation, however.


I guess you decide it is enough, or time to call it quits when it hurts too much. When it hurts all the time. You will know when you have reached your limits. We cannot tell you when you should end it. Only you can know when that time is.


Whatever you choose, good luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2007
In reply to: jenconnors
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 12:21pm

Jen being done is something that only you can determine. I would say for me I should have been done lots of times, but something made me hang on. I used to think it was love and wanting to make the relationship work. Now, six months out, I wonder if it was fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not having him. Fear of being alone.

Here is the thing, even though he handed me "done" before I though I was ready for it, I really am done now. He has been in contact and I choose not to reciprocate. You know why? Because when I look back, very rarely do I have happy thoughts. Usually I look back and think about how sad and hurt I was ALL the time. It took a while to get here...but I am. I still have weak moments and times when I hurt terribly. But I am MUCH better now than I was six months ago. Time and distance really do help.

So ask yourself this: Is your relationship with AP more painful or more happy? Maybe the answer will help you come to a decision.

~Shadowz
~Shadowz
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2009
In reply to: jenconnors
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 12:49pm

When the A brings you more pain and frustration than it does joy.

List the pros and cons on a piece of paper. The cons of an A almost always outweigh the pros. As for your feelings? Do a little introspection - are you really that attached to AP, or are you more attached to the attention, the validation, the highs...

good luck sweetie,

trixie xo



Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
In reply to: jenconnors
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 9:08am

This is such a wonderful advice.I will keep this info safe in my mind.

thankyou