End it now to save it for later?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
End it now to save it for later?
16
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 10:49am

Just a question I am in AP 4 years now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 1:11pm

hey listen...here's a big ((HUG)) for you...i think that you ending it now and saving it for later is a good idea...love doesn't die..well jmo...i am kind of there with that with my XAP, things started to get brutal from my own tongue to him and i could see i was getting pissed with him...although i never asked him to be mine and mine only or to leave...i would just spout off some really harsh stuff to him...so before it got TRES ugly i decided no contact from me to him...he still, of couse, is in contact with DS and can be.....however i'm seeing another person right now to see where it goes and he's awfully nice and available....and i think he has a lot to offer...so im with it...i just gotta see where this goes....as far as xap..well...he has to make his own life's choices...he'll never stop loving me...


i'm sure your ap will never stop loving you..so i say...save it for later...when she can make decisions better..and if she can't...take care of yourself...((HUG))

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

"be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"---Dr. Seuss

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 1:33pm
If you're beating your head against a brick wall, it's always a good idea to take a break. If the thinking of saving it for later works, then go for it. Meanwhile, don't mope around. Go out there and really have the time of your life. Life is too short....
Shadow Word generated at Pimp-My-Profile.com


"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


- Ramona L. Anderson
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 2:01pm

Love does die or fade away if things go nasty.Feelings dont stay the same forever,they change,especially if you break off on bad terms.

You seem to be fed up with the situation.leave if you feel so but there are no guarantees in life ( hell, even life itself doesnt have a guarantee !).After a while you may not feel the same or her feelings might change.

You will stop hurting once you accept the situation and not try to force it in the opposite direction.Talk to her and see her view on it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 2:55pm

OMG,


Same situation but opposite end. Been in A for 11 mos and AP pressuring me to take it further. I am not ready for several resaons one being we are both M. 4 years eh? Doubt she'll let me go that long. I want to take a break now and pick it up later. Things are starting to detioriate over this exact issue and feel we should take a break before it's too late. She just won't do it. Don't know what to do.


Adm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 3:17pm
I have been in A on and off for 12 years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 4:21pm
i would never, ever, pressure my AP to leave his family. to me that's rude and wrong. i went into this affair knowing what it is how things stand. just the same for him, he would never ask me to leave my family. i'm happy when i can see my AP and talk to him. i take things as they come with giving him no pressure, ever. the only thing i may give him a little pressure about is talking on the phone. i love to hear his voice. seeing him, him leaving, no. i would nnever do it. we have other lives. our affair is fun and fills voids, and we are confidants to each other. don't get me wrong, i miss him and love him. i understand as does he about our lives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 4:32pm
Tori?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 4:43pm
yes it is, i had to change my email address. to much spam. to much junk. i changed everything.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-19-2008
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 4:45pm
it's not fair to expect that of some one. i'm very mellow and happy for our times. what i'm not happy about though is the darn job market. it's horrible.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2009
Fri, 03-13-2009 - 5:14pm

T,


She keeps pressuring me to see her all the time. Great. But we're in an LDA and 1000 miles away. Busted my ass to see her in Jan and Feb, can't do it anymore financially. Economy sucks. Have a good job and trying to keep it. I just told her today that I can't keep doing this and not to mention I have moral issues with it. She just doesn't understand. Now she thinks I don't love her and won't fight for her. Frankly I have issues that she "doesn't" have a problem doing this to her H and doesn't have a moral issue with it. See a break coming soon one way or the other.


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