The "end-point" question.
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The "end-point" question.
| Wed, 05-05-2004 - 6:39pm |
I am believe it or not, a 46 year old "happily married man" of 21 years who has been in a wonderful 5 week relationship with a beautiful 32 year old woman who is in a not so good marriage. Today we met and talked. She is troubled by the fact that she can see no good end-point in our relationship. Most likely, if there is and end-point, it will be discovery, and that will be the end of the affair, and her marriage. I have made it clear that I have no intention of leaving my wife, and she does not want me to. The old "take one day at a time" adage sounds good, but in reality, it doesn't provide the security or comfort that she wants. How would you respond to the end-point question? I'm stumped. Thanks.

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I asked the end-point question at about the 5 week mark too. I think I felt the same way as her. My guy said something evasive like, "I don't see why this EVER has to end." that was not very comforting, because it seemed unrealistic. Then, a few months later, when I mused again about "how" it would end, he said "I guess we'll just fade away". that did not make me happy either, LOL, because by that point i was very much in love with him, and couldn't imagine it "fading away".
Then finally, a few weeks ago (we've been together 8 months), I came to the realization that this man has become the kind of friend that I can't imagine not being friends with. Both he and I are good at long-term relationships. We have long, solid marriages, and we have friendships we've maintained since childhood. There is not a lot of conflict or resentment in our A, and i don't see it ending acrimoniously...i think he's probably right...presuming it's not discovered (heaven forbid) I guess one of us will just lose interest in the sexual/romantic side of the thing. Maybe we'll still be friends, maybe not. but the way I see it is, if we WANT to be friends — if there is still a benefit to the connection and it brings us joy — then it will continue. If there isn't, we won't want it anyway...there is no point worrying about it now. time will answer the question. Maybe in your case SHE'LL be the one who wants out. Who knows? Why not just make a pact to end it respectfully and kindly when the time comes, and to treasure your memories?
Sorry this got so long, it's been something I've thought about alot.
Good luck!!
barefoot
why or are you in a relationship with this 32yr old women?
I guess I am confused...most of us are in relationships that
are troubled to an extent....if all of were happy..there would
be no reason to have these posting sessions.
Myself and my MM and both in somewhat troubled M, we are
trying to sort out if we really love our spouses, or if
this is just some wild passionate felleings we have for
each other.
We are still trying to find the answers. With patience and
alot of communication we will make it. We have been
seeing each other for 8months...just kissing....no IC or
overnites. We do not want, at least for now this to end.
We never bring up tomorrow, who knows about tomorrow anyway?
Please keep posting you feelings..nice to hear that
you can express them.
Bunny
just my two cents
deedee
mentioned were missing. My H is a good man, treats me
really, to be honest with you like a queen (which makes me
feel guilty now).
My MM also is a gentle man, but I have thus lust, and passion
thing going with him, I cannot leave at this point. I never wanted
to have sex 24/7 with anyone I have ever met. I have met alot
of men (20 years) in my profession, and never said anything out of line or
flirted with anyone before. I met him one day in my office
and that was that.....does that really happen?
It is strange, but I cannot get rid of this lust I have for him.
Maybe time will change that, but right now it is still there.
Thanks Bunny
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