The "end-point" question.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
The "end-point" question.
15
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 6:39pm
I am believe it or not, a 46 year old "happily married man" of 21 years who has been in a wonderful 5 week relationship with a beautiful 32 year old woman who is in a not so good marriage. Today we met and talked. She is troubled by the fact that she can see no good end-point in our relationship. Most likely, if there is and end-point, it will be discovery, and that will be the end of the affair, and her marriage. I have made it clear that I have no intention of leaving my wife, and she does not want me to. The old "take one day at a time" adage sounds good, but in reality, it doesn't provide the security or comfort that she wants. How would you respond to the end-point question? I'm stumped. Thanks.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:08pm
I have to say I really like the final answer to this question. I have been turning it over and over in my head since besides being caught, for me it is one of the scariest parts of my affair. How will this end. I thought about the first part...why does it have to end? But eventually and realistically it will. I think he wants more than i am willing to give but for now everything is wonderful. And then I thought about the second answer. It will just fade away. How? I dont know how to let anything fade away since like you i manage to keep healthy long term relationships. But your final answer blew me away and I loved it. the friendship you develop is something you decide is one you dont want out of your life. Not everyone will have to know about it. Just like the affair. But knowing that you made such a great friend thru something, is not something i am willing to give up. The romance and sexuality of the affair will fade away I know eventually. I will always have the memories (another great point) and how wonderful it makes me feel for the time being. This definetly satisfies the end point question for me. I have been really stressing out about what to do when he says "I cant do this anymore" and i like the answer that you gave. Thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:24pm
.


Edited 10/1/2004 7:01 pm ET ET by sally289
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:33pm
Beleive it or not your situation gives me a bit of hope. I really care for MM. It would be nice to know that I can go back or he can come back after we say maybe we shouldnt. That we can fit so well together that we wouldnt even have to acknowledge that we are back together. It would just be. Does that make sense? I know it is a huge roller coaster. My marriage used to be the same way when we were single. But to me it is still hopeful that i can go thru a break with MM and still be able to go back. My biggest fear is getting hurt, and I have it drilled into me without any experience of such that hurt is exactly what follows situations like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 3:38pm
.




Edited 10/1/2004 7:01 pm ET ET by sally289
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 05-14-2004 - 4:27pm
Sally is so right. I am in NC right now. I never know whether it will be the end finally or not as this has happened several times then he gets ahold of me and we go on like nothing really happened. Still waiting on this one, but not holding my breath. Take care,

Dusty
xxxx

Pages