you've been safe so far.. make safety your number one priority and go from there.. other than wanting to do the right thing, why did you try to break the A the last three times? as you can tell from the posts here, there are many paths you can take, but, i think staying on the course you are on now at least for another year and seeing what this new year brings would be the best.
if you want to end it, go complete NC as your A is physical based which come with an expiry date.its the emotional affairs that can cause havoc in your life. you may want to continue till your needs are being fulfilled,then just let it go.I too am in a physical affair and its easier to stop,no emotions,no feelings.getting our physical needs satisfied without any roller coaster of emotions.
yeah, I hear you.. someone said recently that keeping emotional and physical separate and focusing on physical is the safest route to take, if possible. I've been there.. so has my AP.. and she, more than I, realized the wisdom of keeping the emotional in a remote safe place, only to be handled rarely, very rarely. My experience is that, when friendship is mostly shared, with some physical fun times thrown in, that keeps everyone sane. Other paths just get you to a pending disaster faster.. the best outcome of an affair is some friendship, some sharing, some fun in and out of the bed, and everyone parting without anyone, esp the uninvolved, getting hurt by DD. You've already come close to being discovered, it's only a matter of time.. since you are not able to separate the emotional and keep it well away, it is best to part ways before this becomes a disaster for everyone.. it is not a matter of if, but when.. and sounds like it'll be probably very soon.. women are incredibly intuitive, and she will find out very soon..
you may want to continue till your needs are being fulfilled,then just let it go.I too am in a physical affair and its easier to stop,no emotions,no feelings.getting our physical needs satisfied without any roller coaster of emotions.