Ever wonder why you are so f**ing crazy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Ever wonder why you are so f**ing crazy?
9
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 5:50pm

I am married (10 yrs plus)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 6:12pm

I heard a line on the show "Sex and the City", that I think is so true. And it is that bisexuality is just a layover on the way to Gaytown. ESPECIALLY with men. I do believe that women are more capable of being intimate with other women without really preferring them. But I really find it hard to believe that it's the same for men. Most men I know who at one time or another referred to themselves as bisexual or have had homosexual experiences usually come completely out of the closet at some time down the road. That would absolutely explain the behavior of this man. He is probably still hanging on to the idea, notion, hope that he can have a normal sexual relationship with women, when in reality, he really prefers the d*ck, if you will. Therefore, he finds it difficult (sounds like downright almost impossible) to really get into and enjoy a sexual relationship with a woman, let alone a truly intimate one. He sounds like he has a whole sh*tload of personal issues and problems. Way more than you can help him with. He probably needs some serious therapy.

But enough about him. Now about you. Why are you subjecting yourself to this, anyway? It sounds like you have a man in your life (your husband) that DOES want to have sex and a relationship with you. Why are you wasting your time with this guy and not focusing on your marriage instead? Because you don't mention that you don't love your husband. If you do, then why? Is it the challenge for you to try and win this guy over?

In all honesty, your situation really sounds bizarre. And I think you know this. Instead of focusing so much energy and time and attention on this messed up guy, why not use it to find a different living situation and moving on? That's what I would do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 7:46pm

You know you are a very smart person.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 7:53pm

Hi Gypsy,


I am not going to focus on your relationship, but on the sexual abuse that you survived, I am sorry that you had to go through that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 7:55pm

Therapy for you popped into mind when reading your post. I would think that if something is NOT serving my needs and in the process making me feel stupid/miserable/sad, I would have enough sense to stop.

So, why are you putting up with this? What are you hoping you could accomplished by being this mans doormat? Are you in-love with him? If you're hoping his gonna one day wake up and realized he's madly in love with you, it's highly unlikely. Does your H know you're having inappropriate R with this guy? What do you think will happen if he finds out? Don't you think the situation could get dangerous? Hmmm, you got a lot to think about and maybe a good time to seek professional help, 'cause mere mortals like us here don't understand it either.



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"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within."


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2000
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 10:15pm
I'm sorry that you're going through so much HEAVY stuff. You sound like an intelligent woman. Use this! I would have been absolutely devastated if my husband did what yours did to you, but you have chosen to remain married to him. And people make mistakes. Sometimes terrible mistakes. I really, really think you should make some moves to get out of this, if you don't mind me saying, ridiculous situation. The guy is probably gay, not bisexual. He probably DOES desire to be with a young 20-something guy (or you wouldn't have mentioned it). It's really not his fault. He can't help it. Any more than anyone else can help desiring what they desire. The best thing that could happen would be for him to come the he!! out of the closet and embrace his homosexuality. Not fight it and try to prove to himself (which he probably is), that he's not.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 9:33am

Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-27-2006
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 10:50pm

I believe that you are intelligent and introspective.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2008
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 2:04pm
Thanks. I know I have a long way to go. I have always been a very stong person and would have said that I never let what happened to be get in the way of who I was now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2007
Wed, 12-24-2008 - 7:42pm

I also wanted to add Gypsy that you sound very articulate and intelligent.