evil thoughts

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2009
evil thoughts
14
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 3:09pm
been in an a for over 9 months now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2004
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 4:22pm

Most states have no-fault divorce these days which is great for women/men involved in affairs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2007
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 5:30pm
I know my opinion may not be popular here but I say go ahead and tell her. I think you should level the playing field. If he loves you that much he will love you even more when he is forced to make a decision. After all, you are the "hidden" one and he is confessing his love to you in the dark so to speak. I say standing up for yourself and being heard instead of being his dirty little secret is best for you. If what you two have is really real he will stand by you and end his "miserable" M. Of course you run the risk that he is pulling the wool over your eyes also and pretending to be the dedicated H/F who wants to be M while lying to you in the dark.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 5:55pm

I'm not one to give advice on here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 7:12pm
thanks to all of you for your input.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 7:27pm

"i've even figured out a way to tell her without implicating myself as the teller. please someone tell me how wrong and selfish i am being."

You already know how wrong and selfish this would be. Please don't do this to the wife. It can only come back to bite you in the butt.
Like others have said...there is NO WAY you can level the playing field. She is his wife and the mother of his children. Sorry, but THAT trumps pretty much everything else.

Give HIM an ultimatum. Let him show you that he'll move heaven and earth to be with the woman he loves. Just be prepared for find out you may not be the woman.

Please take care of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 8:14pm

Seriously??? Do you ever think about his kids? Say you do tell, and after an awful time for your AP he does decide to leave his marriage and be with you, you will

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 8:27pm

I agree with much of what smiley has already shared.


I will add just add a couple things to share with lacy:


This is an affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 8:39pm

"i was being selfish and narrow-minded even contimplating doing something so dispicable. the "playing field" will never be level and this afterall, is not a game, its people's lives."

Good thinking.
Take care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2009
Sun, 08-02-2009 - 9:15pm
While I appreciate your honesty, please don't judge me on a weak moment I was having.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2007
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 1:21pm

Hey lovelylacy,


I'm sure you're not

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