Excited but nervous..need a little help
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Excited but nervous..need a little help
| Wed, 04-28-2004 - 8:52am |
Ok so MM and i haven't seen each other in 10 months mainly due to some major life changes. Anyway a few weeks ago I wanted us to get together (H was away) and he couldn't do it. Well, last night after some very intense emails he said he is going to try to get an earlier flight home form his business trip s o we can get together so hence my excitement. Here is where the nerves come in. MM and are not intimate and have not done anything but kissed. Initially a year and a half ago when this started we decided that sex was off the table b/c of our circumstances (we are FWB and have no intentions on leaving our spouses). For me this is mainly and emotional affair since my H is more like a roommate by his own choosing. OK so I am a bit nervous b/c by the way the conversations having been going of late the rules (for him at least) seem to be changing. He is talking a lot more about having more of a physical relationship. I have been going along with it because I guess I have been thinking about that as well. I am not sure it is the best for us to do that at least for me emotionally. I am worried if we do take this farther then I am going to be an emotional train wreck! He know this is and has always been a concern for me. I guess I don't really know what I am asking but just really needed to vent as I am a bit confused. Thanks for listening. Who knows we may not even be able to get together tonight!

Have fun.... : )
On a more objective level, men do change once they do the deed. This period where he is pursuing you, has not done the deed yet and doesn't have his head in a guilt bucket, is actually the most exciting. He is showering you with attention and is not pulling away. In most of the cases as you would observe here on this board, that once the sex act is done guys get a major guilt phase. For you, the time after you have been intimate with him would be the time when you would have started feeling completely in love and would want more of him. He on the other hand will be pulling away, may be coming back and then pulling away and so to say starts the roller coaster ride. Men compartmentalize so he could keep the sex life with you (and the guilt feelings over it) completely separate from his home life and keep on going on normally in his home life. You on the other hand would be a nervous wreck and obsessing about everything during the down times (see the obsession thread) and the way women are it would affect the daily working of your life.
Bottom line is if you really are enjoying all the attention that he is giving you now and want it to be stable, don't get intimate.
IMHO
PG