Facebooking your AP
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Facebooking your AP
| Tue, 06-08-2010 - 2:07pm |
My AP person requested me to add me to her friends' list. The idea of having her as my fb buddy is tempting, but I am not sure if it is a good idea. We never discussed about adding each other to our fb, but she managed to search me through google. Anyone done this? Should I go ahead and accept her?

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Hi discreet,
Thanks ali,
Great advice...that's my fear too that I will (or she will) be tempted to over-post on her wall!
I'm a MW in a A with a MM. I don't think I would want to add my AP to my FB or be added to his. One thing we are trying to do and have talked about it being very careful as to not get caught. I think FB would be a D-day waiting to happen for us. His W is on FB and on his friend list and my H is also in FB, and on my friend list.
My AP can private message me thru FB because I have that open, but my page is private other than my profile pic.
Plus I do not need to know what he is doing 24/7, nor want in on that part of his life. And well my page is pretty boring.lol. If my AP were ever to see it, he would see a bunch of pictures of my family. I think for me it comes down to do I want that much access to him and him to me?.....right now, no. Maybe as things move along..IDK.
Now, another poster mentioned creating fake profiles. I never thought of that, that could be a possibility that might be a solution for you, but for me I think it would be too much work.lol.
IG,
I have to admit what's FV? Her H is not on FB, but my W is. I do have many friends, so that might make it easy for W to get suspecious.
Edited 6/8/2010 5:53 pm ET by discreetboston
No, he is not. At best I could explain him as a business acquaintance because our industries go hand in hand. But for me its still not worth getting caught over having friend status on FB. Is your AP in your circle? If so she could blend in pretty easily.
Now that I think about it, my H created a FB page last year to see what I was up to. Not that I ever had anything to hide on FB. But another reason not to have my AP as a friend.
Its just something to think about, also you might want to wonder over to the BS Board. A lot of D-day's were due to FB discoveries. I think FB may be an A buster.
Hi discreet,
It is all because of fb why I’m in this A in the first place... AP requested to be my friend some months ago - we’re old acquaintances (over 20 years). His W is on my list of friends and I guess that’s why he “found” me. We started chatting in fb, but everyone else sees that you are online so we moved on to YM. We can then configure our visibility – I’ve set mine such that I appear offline to everyone else except him. Also, I archive our conversations and save them – but am very careful about security, of course.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong in being friends on fb as long as you don’t post anything on each other’s wall that may cause suspicion. His W and my H are both our mutual friends– what a circus it would be if we posted sweet-nothings to each other! I DO NOT post anything on his wall and vice versa save for a “happy birthday” with no frills. Although you could send private messages to each other on fb, we’d rather use other email apps.
Ours is an LDA so we rely heavily on the internet and mobile phones for communication. We don’t usually send each other photos coz we just have to go thru those posted in our fb pages. There are a couple of albums that are for his view only – you can set up customised privacy easily, whether it be wall posts or albums. You could pick the people whom you’ll allow to view your posts or photos. FB helps us keep up-to-date with what’s going on in each other’s lives, we just have to keep our pages current, which takes a little bit of effort.
If you don’t want to have a peek into your AP’s other life, then don’t look thru his/her fb page. The “sad” thing is that I get to see his photos with his family, how happy they seem to be etc. It really stings a photo of him in his W’s fb page with a caption “my good and loving husband.”... Oh, well – if she only knew.
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