Facing Some Big Changes
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 05-06-2010 - 4:41pm |
My LDA is about to get even more Long Distance.
Today, H and I were offered jobs with the same company. It is a fantastic opportunity, dream move in careers for both of us. However, it means relocating to Asia. H and I are experienced with living and working overseas, but Asia will be a new adventure for us. I am very excited about this opportunity; but saddened to have to say goodbye to friends and family. Especially AP. Last week I told him about the possibility of the job, when I started to cry, AP said "You have to go, its the opportunity of a million lifetimes. I will always love you, nothing changes that."
We have never planned to leave our families for each other, and have somehow kept up the A for 8 years despite only getting together occasionally (we do communicate everyday though).
So my joy today is lessened a bit by know I have to tell AP. I don't think he's going to disappear on me, but then again he might choose to stop his hurt and walk away from this. Its always a possibility in this affairland. I'll need to tell him very soon. I can't keep it a secret for long anyway. But it breaks my heart to think about missing him more than I already do. It may be melodramatic to say, but AP is in my heart the way no one else is.

Oh, kp, this must be so bittersweet for you; so many mixed emotions.
How exciting this is!!
And the wonderful part about today's technologies is that you can e-mail every single day for free, or instant chat, or even text if you have the right phone plan. There is also internet phone - or voice chat through the internet. SO many ways to keep in touch that didn't exist just a short time ago. 20 years ago there was ONLY mail or very expensive extra long distance phone for keeping in touch when people were so far from each other.
Is this a work plan with an end date, or will you be in Asia for an undetermined time? If there is an end date, I think your relationship, which has already stood the test of time, will survive. If it is an undetermined time, I think your friendship will still weather the separation. You CAN keep in touch.
Congrats on the jobs! This really is something to celebrate. :-)
You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull
Proud to be a
You've
Just wanted to give an update...
I told AP about three weeks ago right after I officially received my contract that I was definitely moving to Asia with H. Although earlier he said he was excited for me I heard nothing back from him right away. A few days later a short text saying he was excited for me. Then more nothing. My head told me he probably just needed some time to process everything, but my heart ached not knowing what he was thinking. The squirrels were going pretty crazy...
The women here on MAS are really wonderful, but I've discovered when things are painful with me and my A its hard to come here and read, so I haven't even been lurking the last couple of weeks. (Got lots of reading to catch up on today).
So while AP was keeping his distance I didn't pursue him too much. I sent one e-mail, but didn't initiate any txt msgs etc. Thursday he texts and we text all day, that night we have a nice long IM conversation including talking about Asia, and since then he is his same sweet self. So my head was right; he just needed time to adjust. My H and AP partner both do it the same way, go into their figurative "cave" and process.
I still never know what happens next in this crazy A-land. Always curve balls, but this time around I'm glad I didn't get act in my worried state and hound him with e-mails, txts, or phone calls.
Not entirely sure what we are going to do while I'm in Asia (at least modern technology gives options) or if we'll get to see each other before I go; but once again I am confident in the mutual affection, respect, and connection AP and I share.