Father in law passed away today

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2003
Father in law passed away today
2
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 10:18pm
I know that maybe this isn't the right forum to post this, but I guess I just needed to write to you (my cyberfriends), tonight. My father in law passed away about 6:15 am, this morning. My H and I were there, along with his mother and sister, and we watched him pass on. It was so terrible and yet I feel a sense of relief that he is no longer suffering from the ravages of cancer. I have so many thoughts and emotions right now but can't seem to get them out. All I know is that I was truly blessed to have had two wonderful fathers in my lifetime.

I know that he would be extremely upset with me if he knew about my EMA, but he also knew how rocky my M to his son has been over the years, and at times tried to help. I have this awful guilt right now, as I know how disappointed he would be in me. I was very close to him and I loved him dearly.

He would tell me from time to time that no matter what happened, he would always be grateful to me for bringing my children into this world. He was a wonderful husband, father and grandfather, and a true testament of what a man should be. He will be missed terribly by everyone whose lives he touched.

When my own father died 5 1/2 years ago, we found a note in his wallet that said: "When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a way that when you die the world cries, and you rejoice." I know he left that note in his wallet for us (his kids) to find, as his final words of wisdom to us. I'm thinking long and hard about those words tonight.

I guess I just needed to get this out. Thanks for listening.

Virgogirl

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 10:43pm
oh virgo i'm sooo sorry about your father-in-law passing today. honey, he is in a much, much better place now. AND not suffering. i had the exact same experience with my dad almost 5 years ago and it was incredibly hard. i still miss him to this day.

but your fil could not and would not judge you. you made his life happy, gave him grandchildren and have done your best to give his son a good life. as you said, the road has been rocky in yor M, but you've stuck it out and stayed. just because you found some small amount of happiness with another man does not mean you are a bad person, and are not someone capable of being loved and forgiven. your dad and fil are in just such a place where they know what is in your heart. i believe there can never be too much love in your life, or anyone else's.

please know we are here for you in your time of deepest sorrow. hugs virgo.

life

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sun, 05-09-2004 - 11:11pm
Hey sweety,

I just want to offer my condolences. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love and admire so much, how hard it is to let go, no matter that you know that they are in a much better place.

Please, don't worry about what he would think. Now that he is on "the other side" he definitely knows the trial and tribulations of what human life entails, and the paths that we must all take for lessons learned.

In my situation, I have often thought, what must xxxx be thinking, looking down, but then I realize, they must have done something in their own life that hurt others, and although they may not have regretted the action, they may have regretted the result.

Just my thoughts.

((((((Virgo))))))

Take care

Red