Feel like I have lost my Best Friend!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Feel like I have lost my Best Friend!!
3
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 3:21pm

My AP and I have been having an EA for about a year. We worked together then about 3 months ago he got a new job. Ever since then we just text each other and have met once. When we met we talked about taking it to a physical level. He said he wanted to but was worried about his wife finding out as I work with her still. He said give it some time. So I waited about 2 months and he kept saying just give it time. So two weeks ago, I texted him and said is this going anywhere if not tell me so I can move on. After I wrote this, he just stopped writng and has not wrote back since. I don't know if it made him mad or his wife saw it or what! So i texted him twice after that, no response. I texted him today and said I guess I will take that as to move on. I also told him he could have been nice enough to atleast write and tell me it was over. No response. I just can't believe he did this to me. I was attracted to him but I would have never gone this far if he had not pushed it. he made me feel so good about myself. He is one of my best friends or I should say

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 4:19pm
I know how you feel. I'm waiting for my AP to contact me. I feel it's over and there is a chance that he won't contact me at all. I heard a lot of stories here on MAS about men just disappearing and breaking off without saying anything. I don't know why that happens. I know I couldn't do that. I care too much for my AP not to let him know when I want to end things. I hope he feels the same way.

There is nothing you can do now but get on with your life. I know it's hard and you feel you need some closure but you texted him and now it's up to him to contact you or not. It may be possible that he can't contact you but don't get your hopes up. Be strong and don't contact him anymore. If he wants to he'll contact you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 4:36pm
Thank you for your response. I am sorry you are going through it also. It is awful. I feel like I am already beggining to move on. I love him and always will. But I think in a while, it will be for the best. He obviously either had something happen in his life or just decided he could not do this to his W. Just wish he could have told me that, so I could have some closure instead of wondering why?? I just care about him so much, but I don't want to risk my whole life on someone who does not care about me enough. I just thought he did, and can't help wonder, did I do something to lose him? Most of all I have lost one of my closest friends and I think that is what hurts the most. I have decided that the last text I sent him is my last. I have left the ball in his court and would love to hear from him again. But I am not going to make a fool out of myself anymore. Especially since neither of us want to leave our marriages. I will never be first in his life, so just best to let go. Too stressful always wondering is he going to call or text? Is he thinking about me?? Etc, Etc? Thank you again. Just having someone to talk to that can relate is great!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 5:10pm
You are already on a good path because you're thinking clearly. By contacting him further you would be making a fool out of yourself. Belive me, I did that a few times. And after I sent him that one "extra text" I did feel like a needy, desperate fool.

I'm sorry that you lost your best friend and it hurts even more because of it.